I love being a mom.
You guys probably already know this from my constant chit-chat about how sweet our boy is, how much fun he is, and so on, but I just can’t even begin to describe how much I love being a mother.
My sister and I are 4.5 years apart, and I don’t really remember her as a baby all that well. I was too busy playing sports and working in high school to babysit, and continued that trend in college. When Nate and I got married I figured that two kids was enough, but truth be told I was kind of terrified of babies and the prospect of having kids. It’s not that I didn’t want them, but I really do like sleep and and privacy and the occasional (daily) nap.
When we found out we were pregnant with Story and then again with Wes, I was incredibly excited but also deeply afraid. Scared and worried that I would have to give up the woman I was and just become a slave to the needs of children. I didn’t have the first idea of what to do with a baby, and while I can say with certainty now that it is mostly instinctual, I was still clueless. Big time.
And then one cold but sunny day almost one year ago the cries of a sweet little boy rang in my ears as he made his entrance into this world, and my entire world came crashing down in the best way possible. I forgot those fears (let’s be honest, I forgot most things because it’s hard to not sleep and also think straight) and just dove in head first. We’ve grown a lot over the past year, and I can also say with certainty that I’ve left that woman that I was far behind.
And I met the woman I am now.
The woman whose dreams completely changed the second she started caring for her baby. The woman who threw numbers to the wind and hopes to have both biological and adopted babies – a lot of them, God willing – in her life. The woman who cries over hardships and sadness, who seeks out reasons to pray for others, who really does pay attention to putting herself second. I know motherhood isn’t for everyone, and I can respect that. But for me? For this woman?
It’s the greatest job in the world, a blessing, and the catalyst the Lord is using to clean out the cobwebs of my dirty heart.
Praise be to God, for HE HAS SEEN ME (Genesis 16:13) – the real me, the mommy within!
Heather,
My baby turns 13 on March 23rd and I feel the very same way.
My life was completely changed, my purpose became clear. My heart softened & my mind opened. I still get butterflies in my belly when I hear her call me Mom. I go into her room just to hear sleep…to make sure she’s breathing. Lol. When things get sticky, and not the spilled milk kind of sticky, the I’m growing up, becoming my own person sticky, I try and remind myself that this too shall pass. And than there are those times, even at almost 13, when we’re walking in public & she not only wants to be seen with me but wants to hold my hand, that I’d give anything for this moment to last forever.
Motherhood isn’t for the faint of heart. But oh how it changes your heart if you embrace it, good, bad, ugly & awesome.
May you enjoy every moment of everyday with your little man.
They are truly the greatest gifts given to us…and one day the gift we give to the world.
YES – a million times yes! 🙂 Thank you for your beautiful comment Chris 🙂
My heart just melted. You are an awesome, Godly mom. I pray to have the same attitude about our bebe. ‘Cause I love my sleep… 😉
Oh, you will totally feel the same way – I just know it! I can’t wait to “meet” your little one soon!
love love love the way you wrote this post. you are a beautiful mama, Heather.
Thank you Lindsay 🙂 I can certainly say the same thing about you!
what a precious post!! loved and inspired by every word!!
And soon you’ll know from experience! So excited to meet your little dude, even if it is only online!
Oooh I have chills. Reading this also makes me want a thousand babies. (and look how big Wes is getting! Ohmyheart.)
Yes, thousands of babies, please and thank you!
I LOVE this, Heather. I can’t wait to have kids of my own because I definitely feel that instinctive calling to care for my babies. And your little Wes is just the most adorable, truly. 🙂
You’re going to love it Stephanie 🙂