Finding grace. Man, what a loaded two-word phrase, right?
I think it’s key for me to use the words “finding grace” because that assumes that grace is already there (which it is). It reminds me that I may have lost it from my point of view, but that the reality is that God’s grace is always there, always available, and ready to be accepted at all times.
I work from home doing two things: recipe development/blogging and as a Beautycounter consultant. My most important job at home, though? Being mom. And it has been a solid reminder for the past 2-1/2 weeks that it truly is my highest calling and the most important thing that I do day in and day out.
I don’t do well with change, really ever, but especially when it comes to the expectation of how my days should go. It should come as no surprise that when the kiddos get sick it throws things for a loop, which inevitably includes all manner of business for me! I feel like I should interject here and mention that it’s times like the past couple of weeks that make me really thankful for my iPhone and the technology that allows me to do what I do. Without it there’s no way I could keep going when life throws me for a loop! Regardless of my wishy-washy feelings sometimes for technology, it really is such a blessing when used well.
Anyway, to set the stage: I have at least 5 new projects due for recipe/blogging clients in the next month or so with a Beautycounter business that it growing quickly. It truly is such a blessing to be busy! There are new things to do every day to keep growing and learning and earning, so when life gets crazy it just adds a little extra to the mix. About two weeks ago we took the little guy in for a fever and persistent cough that wouldn’t go away. After a chest x-ray, flu and strep tests, and a pneumonia test we found out that he had a bacterial bronchitis infection that needed to be treated with antibiotics. Boom. Done and done. Then four days later my older guy had the worst, barkiest cough (super scary!) I’ve ever heard. Off we went to the doctor again, only to find out it was croup. A prescription for a steroid was given and off we went. Everyone seemed better.
Then last week the little one kept waking up in the middle of naps and nights screaming and told me his mouth hurt. He’s right around the time that those pesky molars are due, so I just figured it was that. Wrong. Turns out little guy had a bad ear infection in his left ear 🙁 More antibiotics (and a lot more probiotics) later he’s finally starting to feel better. Just in time for me to come down with a bacterial infection that stemmed from an allergic reaction to pollen. BLAH.
Lots of doctors visits, lots of medications, lots of medical bills, lots of stress. And a whole lot of learning that I had to die to my to-do list and get the basics done first.
See, I work from home as a choice because I enjoy working and I enjoy being able to contribute to our family financially as well. I’m blessed to have the chance to do this, and thankful for all of the hard work I’ve done to get here. So often, though, it can become the focus rather than the fact that I really do it all because I want to be able to be here for our boys whenever they need me. And the past couple of weeks? They’ve needed me a lot. I wouldn’t trade the snuggles and the sweetness at all, but it does make me wish that I kept that perspective when I got frustrated at all of the sickness.
All of this to say: finding grace as a work-from-home-mom means dying to my perceived expectations, accepting my current situations, and never giving up! Doing the things that absolutely have to get done will happen, and the rest is just icing on the cake. There will be a time when we’re all well again and I can start crushing it again, but the priority will always be my family. The more I can keep that in focus, the better!