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Heather's Dish

Heather's Dish

To Have Hope

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I think one of the worst parts about having a miscarriage is the fact that there will still always be women who are pregnant and having babies around you.  Whether it’s friends, family, or that stranger in the grocery store…you’ll see them everywhere.  And as much as you want to be happy for them, as excited as you might be for them, you can’t help but have an overwhelming bitterness about the fact that someone else is going to have a baby and it feels like you never will.

 

I hate that this happened to a friend of mine, but prior to knowing one another she had two miscarriages.  She was one of the first people who knew about our pregnancy earlier this year and she was the one who took one look at my empty desk at work and knew what happened.  She cried for us, she prayed for us, and when I came back to work she was full of hugs because she knew that there were no words that could be said to comfort me then.  She was also pregnant again.

I have to say –  and this is not to step on anyone’s toes or say that your words, hugs, and kindness didn’t mean anything because it meant and STILL means so much – but I have to say that seeing my dear friend every day helped more than I can say.  She was pregnant, beautiful, graceful, and happy.  And I saw that despite the horrors of miscarriage it’s possible to have that one thing that I still don’t know if I’ve 100% found:  hope.

The other day we got to go see my friend, her husband, and their absolutely beautiful 3-week-old baby girl.  My heart was swollen with happiness for her as I watched them lovingly change her diapers, calm her down as she cried, feed her, swaddle her and love her.  But it was also swollen with that same gift that my friend gave me before.

I felt hopeful.

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23 Comments

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Comments

  1. LG says

    August 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    Thanks for this post. *sigh* We’ve been trying for two years now and it’s hard some days to have hope. We really just try to enjoy each day and travel/hike/SLEEP IN/do the things we won’t be able to when we have kids, along with seeking treatments. I find that being around other expectant or new moms both gives me hope and makes me sad. Or one or the other depending on where I am in my cycle! Anyway, God knows what He’s doing but it’s tough to know exactly what it is sometimes, or why! I’ll say a prayer for you guys and good for you for the positive attitude. *hugs*

    Reply
  2. cathy b. says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:29 am

    beautiful pictures, beautiful thoughts…
    and thanks for giving me “hope”.. 🙂
    cathy b.

    Reply
  3. ginger says

    August 23, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    aw, how touching and what beautiful photos. we struggled with infertility for 18 months before conceiving our now 7-month-old. my mom had two miscarriages between me and my brother. there is definitely hope.

    love your recipes.

    Reply
  4. Whitney says

    August 22, 2011 at 7:11 am

    What a beautiful post- you worded it all perfectly

    Reply
  5. Kirsten says

    August 21, 2011 at 9:17 am

    Finding & embracing Hope is a gift. Thank you for your honesty in talking about something that few have to courage to mention. ((Hugs))

    Reply
  6. tanya says

    August 21, 2011 at 8:47 am

    What a wonderful way to look at it, and so true!

    I had 2 misscariages …with the same doctor and he said don’t worry…I was pregnant the 3 rd time and changed doctors and found out I had LOW progesterone and I took progesterone and have my beautiful daughter!

    Reply
  7. Lavi says

    August 20, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    It’s hard to think that other people r out there having babies and for someone who is waiting and wanting it can seem like a lif time! It took us 7 years, doctors telling us if we were married to someone else it wouldn’t be a problem, to finally giving in and letting life happen…and it did! Have faith and hope! Enjoy ur time w ur spouse and every minute together! It’s all worth it. Good luck to u! Ps…I love ur blog!

    Reply
  8. Lynne @ 365 Days of Baking says

    August 20, 2011 at 10:30 am

    Heather, what a beautiful post! Sending prayers and hugs to you.
    So happy to know that you have hope.
    Many blessings!

    Reply
  9. Charlotte says

    August 20, 2011 at 7:53 am

    I too went through this. I now have a healthy bouncing 19 year old boy! There is hope. Have faith that the Lord will provide. 100%hope and faith!!! Prayers for you.

    Reply
  10. rebecca says

    August 20, 2011 at 6:38 am

    hope is a beautiful thing. 🙂 miss and love you, heather!

    Reply
  11. Tracy says

    August 19, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Lovely, lovely post.

    Reply
  12. Lindsey @ Morningstar Project says

    August 19, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Just a beautiful post. The amazing thing about hope is that it’s always lurking right around the corner…even on those days you think it’s gone for good. It’s still right there waiting for you to see it in the most unexpected places. xoxo

    Reply
  13. Mads says

    August 19, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    I’m so glad you have found hope.
    My mom went through many miscarriages and wound up with 2 (in my opinion) awesome kids. There’s hope to be found.
    What a beautiful little baby!!!

    Reply
  14. Krystina (Organically Me) says

    August 19, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    What a beautiful baby girl.

    Never give up hope, Heather. It’s one of the only things we can grab onto.

    Reply
  15. Estela @ Weekly Bite says

    August 19, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    Beautiful post Heather. Hope is a beautiful thing.

    Reply
  16. Felicia (Natural+Balanced) says

    August 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    beautiful. brought me to tears..you are in my prayers girl 🙂

    Reply
  17. Bianca @ Confessions of a Chocoholic says

    August 19, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    What a lovely post. You are right – out of every tragedy, we can always find hope.

    Reply
  18. Urban Wife says

    August 19, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Hope is one of the greatest gifts.

    Reply
  19. Jessica @ How Sweet says

    August 19, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    these pictures are incredible. <3

    Reply
  20. alex says

    August 19, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    beautiful. thanks for being so honest

    Reply
  21. becca @ bellebottoms says

    August 19, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    I love your honesty and heart. So beautiful!

    Reply
  22. stephanie says

    August 19, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    I can’t imagine the struggles that you have gone through, but am so glad the your friend has shown you hope. I’m praying for you and hope that you continue to find hope and comfort. I’ll be praying for you

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Cherry Vanilla Ciabatta Bread Pudding | Heather's Dish says:
    August 24, 2011 at 6:27 am

    […] lights, turned off the oven.  Even if we didn’t use those things I still ask him anyway!  The night we went to go see our friends with the beautiful new baby girl we came home and my first thought was, “WOW it’s hot in here!”  We don’t […]

    Reply

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