Morning everyone! How are y’all today?ย It’s Friday after all…time to DANCE! ๐
Last night Nate and I had the privilege of meeting up with a new-to-Colorado blogger, Heather, and her boyfriend Dustin!ย We decided to do one of the amazing Boulder happy hours at Laudisio, which is a restaurant I’ve wanted to try for the longest time:
I started off with a Cape Cod (vodka, cranberry juice, and a twist of lime):
Nate and I decided to split an order of the arancini (golden-fried saffron risotto balls, gorgonzola cheese, mushrooms, tomatoes, basil cream):
And then, because we were intrigued, we also split the potato pizza (parmigiano & mozzarella cheeses, potato, olive oil, fresh rosemary):
Honestly I wasn’t the biggest fan.ย I felt like it needed some sort of acidity to it like red onion or balsamic or something.ย BUT I am glad we tried it!ย We ended with a mini tiramisu for dessert:
This was really good!ย I felt like it had lemon in it, but I didn’t see zest or anything.ย Either way it was great, and I only needed about 3 spoonfuls to enjoy it!ย Heather and Dustin we a blast to hang out with and I’m so glad that they decided to make the trek out to Colorado!ย She’s just as adorable as she seems on her blog ๐
Please pardon my drunk smile and sweaty hair ๐ย At least Nate was lookin’ good for y’all!
Such a fun night, and I will definitely be going back to Laudisio in the very near future!
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In honor of the “Change the Way You See, Not the Way You Look” week for the release of the fabulous Operation Beautiful book, I wanted to take advantage of telling my story of learning to love myself.ย You see, I share this kind of stuff all the time but I don’t feel as though it’s all been in one comprehensive package.ย Today I want to change that ๐
I have always had an amazing relationship with my family.ย They have been super supportive, loving, kind, generous, and all-around wonderful.ย I was a confident little girl, always keeping my nose in a book because I loved to read, riding bikes and running around outside, and was always playing Barbies with a friend down the street.ย I feel like that was a pretty typical childhood, no?
When I was 12 I started to get a lot of attention because my “baby fat” was melting away as I grew older and most definitely as I grew taller.ย Friends and family friends raved about how great I looked now that I was finally starting to lose some weight.ย AT 12 YEARS OLD!!!ย I’d never once felt like a failure before, but when I started getting that attention I realized that, up until that point, I had been chubby.ย It had never crossed my mind before, but the summer between 6th grade and 7th grade was when I started restricting my food intake.ย I was scared that I was going to let everyone down again if I ever gained weight.
I could go into extensive details about the every day of my disordered eating, but let’s just say that between the ages of 12 and 22 I flirted with just about every form of anorexia, bulimia, diet pills, laxatives, over-exercising, and over-eating.ย And all the while I was constantly telling myself that I was a crappy person, all based on the number on the scale.ย I didn’t even take into account that I had an amazing family, was a great athlete, a straight-A student, and had great relationships with friends.ย I completely isolated myself with this gross little friend and, like a heroine addict, would turn to disordered eating to strangely make myself feel good.
When I met my husband I was not “practicing” anything but overeating anymore, but I was constantly beating myself up over food and weight gain.ย I would venture to say that from the ages of 22 to 26 (up until last November) I would overeat and then tell myself I was a horrible person.ย I would gain a pound or two, and feel as though I’d let the entire world down.ย I never realized this was wrong…in fact I felt like I was normal! Everyone “fat talked” all the time…why shouldn’t I?
November of last year I started writing The Joyful Kitchen as a way to record my daily intake and just my life in general.ย Somewhere around that time I also found Caitlin’s Healthy Tipping Point blog, and read her page on what fat talk REALLY is:ย not addressing the true emotions and covering it up by saying, “I just feel fat.”ย Now, I’m a smart girl, but it had never dawned on me that there was another emotion behind it all.ย Immediately I asked my husband to call me out on fat talk whenever I was doing it and address the true emotion at hand.ย It wasn’t easy for either one of us, but over the course of about a month or so I stopped hiding from my emotions and started to address what was really going on internally.ย It was so freeing!
I am happy to say that today, 10 months later, I am learning how to love myself more and more each day.ย I love my eyes, my strong thighs, my broad shoulders, my crooked nose, my (fairly gross :)) feet, my strong hands, my great posture, and many other things.ย But more importantly I love my heart.ย I LOVE ME, and that’s something I had never really considered for almost 14 years!
The Lord works in mysterious ways, and I truly believe that Operation Beautiful was put in my life as a way to see myself for who I really am:ย HIS child (Romans 8:16-18), fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and a woman of beauty (Psalm 45:11, Proverbs 31).
This morning I leave you, Mama Pea style, with on note that’s meant specifically for me, bed-head, pajamas, (dirty mirror!!!), no make-up and all.ย I also leave you with a challenge to find something you love about yourself, look in the mirror, and tell yourself!ย The amazing thing about Operation Beautiful is it not only is a feel-good thing to do, it’s a call to action to stop the body image crisis we are all trapped in.ย Take action against it today!ย ย
Mary says
I was gone for four days and catching up on all of your posts.
You have such a beautiful spirit. I wish we could have talked more when you worked for me…but it was a different time and place. I’m glad you are discovering yourself as a beautiful person. Thanks for sharing a piece of yourself.
Jennifer says
I know I am late on reading this, but I am so glad that I did! I feel that I know so much more of your heart since reading this post, and I am so proud that you are in the right place right now. You seem like such an amazing woman and it would be my privilege to meet you someday. ๐
Jenny says
Amazing post Heather!
CaSaundra says
Potato pizza does sound interesting…but it does sound like it could use a punch of flavor!!
eatmovelove says
Great Blog! You had me at Pizza…;)…potatoe pizza??!
I agree – pizza for me REQUIRES tomatoe sauce…and cheese…
Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) says
amazing meetup! and love the food pics…I love that your blog is not vegan so you dont have to apologize for posting great looking non-vegan eats like I would if i were to post them LOL
have a great weekend!
Laury @thefitnessdish says
You girls look like you could be sisters!!! How funny is that!???? You met your blogger twin, lol.
That pizza looks amazing, looks liek you have a great night!!!
I can related to EVERYTHING you said about your past. The eating issues, isolation, everything. I finally got the book in the mail today..I know it’s going to make the waterworks flow..so I am saving the read for a time I am in the mood. I wish this book was out for us when we were tweens/ teens. It’s such an inspiration!
You are beautiful!! Have a great night!!!
Aimee says
What a great night you must have had!! And I love your story for Operation Beautiful. I have been trying to think of something to post, but haven’t had the an idea yet. Glad you found your beauty, it was there all along. ๐
kelsey@snackingsquirrel.com says
HAPPY FRIDAY!! i’ll join u with the friday dance <3
thank you so much for sharing with us candidly about growing up and some of your struggles with weight and disordered eating. im just as suprised, 12 years old! wow thats incredibly young and must have had such an impact on you. you're inspiring and im impressed with the strength uve developed over the years. i mean, look at you now! BEAUTIFUL <3
livelaughloveandrun says
Great story!! Seeing all these posts is really an eye opener, and truly makes me think about how the scale cannot determine how we see ourselves! I’m so happy to see you have overcome this.. you are an inspiration!
dynamic damsel says
OMG! You either have a super duper camera or all that food was really perfect looking! yumm! Looks like you guys had a great night!
Heather C says
Loved meeting up with you guys! We’re definitely up for Round 2, soon ๐
On another note, this is a *beautifully* honest post. It’s hard to learn those lessons alone, and it’s amazing to read/see/experience what a “blog world” can mean to each of us! ๐
Catherine says
Goodness, your post could not have described my past struggles with food/weight better… PTL for God’s grace.
Stumbled across your blog after I saw your husband’s Join the Journey entry today. My husband and I are moving to Denver next weekend and are super excited to get involved with Watermark up there. Hope we get to meet soon!
Kristy says
I apologize, I didn’t realize I was still logged in under my old wordpress blog!
Ilana says
It’s sad but true that most people think the “fat talk” is just normal – I always thought I was abnormal for not doing it! I love this post – you ARE beautiful, Heather, and you deserve to feel everything good about yourself! Luckily you’re learning this at a young age – many people go their entire LIVES self-depreciating!! Rock on.
Casual Dish says
What a great post, just hopped over to your blog from CNC. Can’t wait to get a copy of this book, so amazing! Your blog is wonderful!!
Mama Pea says
Thanks for sharing your story. You ARE beautiful!
Ashley says
Beautiful post lady!! ๐
Katie @ Health for the Whole Self says
Loved reading your story, Heather! Funny, I had a similar experience in that I never felt “fat” or anything like that until after I lost some weight – suddenly people started making compliments, and it made me wonder if someone had been wrong with me before.
That is why I’m always careful about complimenting someone on his/her weight loss. Of course it’s important to recognize such amazing accomplishments, but not in such a way that it implies that the person was somehow “less” before the weight loss occurred.
dorrybird says
Amazing post! I totally have tears in my eyes. Our history with disordered eating is similar and my fiance played a big role in calling me out on my fat-talk…not letting me get away with being so hard on myself. You are such a beautiful, strong woman!
Love that you met Heather (there are a lot of Heathers in blog-land)! ๐
Matt says
Great story Heather! That seriously made me tear up a little bit ๐
Lara says
Thank you for sharing your story, Heather! I have had similar feelings my entire life. Blogging has helped me face them, and I can’t wait to pick up Caitlin’s book!
BTW, a potato pizza does sound good, but I totally see how it would need a more tart flavor in the mix!!
Angela says
What a moving post. As a fairly new reader, I didn’t know how much you’ve dealt with. We have a lot in common, and its empowering to read someone who’s grown so much. Thanks for sharing your story!
Liz @ Tip Top Shape says
This was such a heart-felt post! Thank you for sharing your story ๐
And that restaurant looks ah-mazing!! If I ever get to Colorado I will definitely be trying it out ๐
Brittany (A Healthy Slice of Life) says
Beautiful story, Heather!
I completely agree, and I’ve finally learned to love my body for all the things it allows me to do, not because it’s a certain size ๐
Heather says
JEALOUS! another Heather beat me out to Colorado!
Next year, when we finally make it back, can we please have a triple H meet up? ๐
p.s.i tried to go to her blog, but it said that link doesn’t exist ๐
Heather says
oh-and any other colorado bloggers can come, too ๐
glutenfreemuse says
What an awesome and powerful post, Heather ๐ Made me tear up a bit because I can completely relate ๐
~Alyssa
Bianca @ Confessions of a Chocoholic says
Great story about loving yourself. It took me years too (and I still struggle every now and then) but I am inspired everyday and thankful for everything I have. I love me too ๐
April says
Happy Friday! How were those risotto balls? They look scrumptious!
cher says
i love laudisios, isn’t it great? the arancini looks amazing!
Anna says
Fun! I love blogger meet-ups…and I LOVE arancini!! ๐
LiveForTheRun says
OK you two trouble makers, when I come out for the Colorado/UGA game, we’re meeting up! I’m envious:)