Life is funny.
It’s so strange for me to look back at the years and see how I’ve grown and changed and matured over them. And the funniest part about it all is how my perspective of what’s important in life has completely shifted. Something that I’ve noticed as a major change in my life is my body. Maybe it’s because for so many years I cared so very deeply about my physical appearance; maybe it’s because my body is (obviously) a physical representation of who I am inside. Who knows? But what I can say is that through all of the ups and downs I’ve gained an ever deeper respect for my body and what it can do.
A
(aka high school and college)
With that in mind, I’ve come to the conclusion that my body will never again be what it’s been in the past. It will never be 18 years old again. It will never have NOT been pregnant again. It will likely never be able to run 6-8 miles a day every day again. And even though these things may be true, I’m ok with that because being 18 was an awesome year. Not being pregnant was fun too. And running that much helped shape my thoughts on exercise in addition to shaping my body.
B
(aka marriage and pregnancy)
My body will never be virgin again. My body will never gain 40 unwarranted pounds again. And my body will never go for months on end without exercise. But even though these things are true, I’m ok with that being I now have an incredible husband who loves my body as it is, always. I now know what it’s like to gain 40 pounds with no good explanation and I know that I don’t want that. And I know that exercise is essential not just for physical health, but to the woman that I am.
C
(aka motherhood and beyond)
I will never not be a mom. I will never stop caring about the way my body feels. And again, I will never be 18 another time in my life. But every time I look at Weston I know that all of these are OK. I love being a mom and knowing that my body grew such an amazing little baby without me having to try. I love knowing that my body is and will continue to be strong so that I can play with my little boy all day every day. And I love that I won’t be 18 again because the girl I was then is nothing compared to the woman that I am now. Being that size is no longer the priority; the priority is now being strong and happy and healthy.
And you know what? That makes the ‘C’ part of my life pretty stinking fantastic!
Great post. I was nodding my head as I was reading it. I appreciate my body much more now that I did in my teens/early twenties, too!
Amen sister! I love love LOVE this post! I had my first baby when I was 20 years old -a total unexpected surprise- so I did long for my 18 year old body for a long time… until I realized there is nothing wrong with my body post two beautiful babies with a husband who loves me the way I am! But I wholeheartedly agree… I wouldn’t change who or what I am for anything… being a mommy is great, stretchmarks and all! XO Great post my friend! 🙂
I totally feel you on this. And I’ve been a mom much longer than you! But it does feel silly to think how much time and energy I’ve wasted on not loving myself. Every last jiggly bit!
Beautiful post, Heather! I changed my attitude about my body after having children, too. As I was reading this post I kept saying AMEN! 🙂
How we (I) think of our bodies can be tricky at times…on one hand I look back and completely recognize how I took it for granted that I was younger and stronger and more fit than I realized…on the other, there’s no reason why I still can’t be right now, I just might not look exactly the same! 🙂 I really really try to focus on being healthy and fit vs being skinny…its always such a work in progress. Once you have kids you realize you are their role model. Love this post girl! And I LOVE that photo of you, you are so beautiful, inside and out!!
Oh Heather. I love this. I think so many people struggle with how they used to look in the past. Guilty, I look at my high school pictures and think OMG I thought I was fat?! HA! I weighed 118 pounds soaking wet and I had so many body insecurities even then. Perspective is a bitch. 🙂 No, in all seriousness what that teaches me is that it really doesn’t matter if I weigh 118 or 138. I will still look in the mirror and find SOMETHING to be unhappy about. So instead of lamenting that I don’t weigh 118 I should feel blessed when I do look in the mirror and marvel at what my body can do.
This past year has really tested my confidence in my body. Two miscarriages with no medical explanation will make you doubt yourself. Doubt your body’s ability. But really I have to know that my body is fine and when the time is right it will bless me in its own way.