Honestly I’ve debated long and hard about trying to do weekly updates with Austin like I did with Wes. The longer I’m a mom, the more strongly I feel that I should let our children create and tell their own stories. That being said, there is SO MUCH that I gathered and so much comfort that I felt the first few weeks with Wes from reading other new mom accounts of the first 12 weeks. Plus I love having the account of the first few weeks written down, and have actually gotten a LOT of comfort out of rereading what I wrote about Wes.
So.
Here goes!
This past week has been equal parts magical and really hard. Having a newborn around is hard no matter what; you’re getting to know this precious child that’s learning how to be alive on their own. Throw in the fact that there’s already a sweet child around who wants and needs attention and it can be really challenging at times. I’ve cried countless times over not being able to spend as much time with Wes as before we had Austin, but I’ve also cried countless times in joy over our new little guy.
Like his brother, Austin is having a hard time staying awake while feeding which is ultra frustrating for mom at times. The lengths we have to go to in order to keep our little man awake while eating is almost comical: burping, diaper changes, bathes, cool washclothes, tummy time…all the things, and then he’ll latch again and start snoozing instantly. I’m so glad that I wrote about the same issue with Wes during those first weeks because I totally forgot about it!
We go in this morning to check and see if our little nugget is gaining weight, so I’m a little anxious to see how he’s doing. Everything I’ve read and heard is that if he’s making the right number of diapers (which he is) then I really shouldn’t be concerned, but I can’t help but worry sometimes. I also wrote in Wes’ update that I was sad when his umbilical cord feel out, and the same thing happened with Austin! When I threw it in the trash I just felt sad that it was gone, even though his actual bellybutton is (obviously) always going to be there.
The only other thing is how crazy it is that Austin sleeps through anything and everything – no doubt a side effect of me chasing his brother and our crazy dogs around all the time while he was in utero! If he’s not constantly moving though? Waterworks. That’s going to be a habit we’ll have to break a little later when life feels a bit more normal though, AND he’s only a week old. So there’s that 🙂
That picture up there? Makes my heart so stinking happy! Wes is truly the best big brother in the entire world. He gets frustrated with Nate and I when things are different than he wants, but there is no shortage of hugs and kisses and fist bumps for “Baby Austin.” He loves him so much and is such a proud brother. I can’t wait to watch them grow older together, and I pray that they are close.
As for me, since having a VBAC I’m having to learn how to heal in a whole other way this time around. At this point in the process with Wes I was still so weak, had no energy, and didn’t even feel like I had the capacity to lift anything heavy at all. This time around I feel almost totally normal other than the standard healing that goes on with a natural birth. I have a decent amount of energy and, while I shouldn’t (and really try not to), I could totally lift Wes if needed. Heck, if I didn’t need to wait 6 weeks to start working out I’d start considering it now!
Nate is, as always, a rockstar daddy. He’s taken everything in stride so well, taking care of all three of us at one time, all the time. I’m so proud of that man 🙂
So that’s kind of the gist of life lately. It’s hard and messy and beautiful and amazing…all at once. And I can’t wait to see how it keeps going from here!
That last picture of Wes grinning next to Austin is just precious! 🙂 I’m going to love reading these updates. It’s always fun to read what other babies are up to, especially since ours are pretty much the same age.
Heather! Some unasked for advice (my apologies!) but this was so key for me after having Elsa. I was crying all the time about not feeling like I could give 100% of myself to Owen OR Elsa; I felt like I was failing them both. But the home-visit nurse who came to our house a few days after we got home from the hospital had these 2 pieces of advice for me that I clung to like a life raft those first couple months:
1. The baby will not remember if he or she cries for a couple minutes while you finish what you’re doing with Wes (blocks / a puzzle / snack / etc.) but Wes will remember if you drop him every time the baby cries.
This was so helpful for me in just deciding who to help first sometimes 🙂
2. Siblings are a gift. They are the first chance for kids to learn that this world is not all about them and their needs, and better they learn that in the safety and comfort of their own homes than in the big scary world of preschool or kindergarten. So when it feels like you’re disappointing them BOTH, remember, they’re learning valuable lessons even then!
Unsolicited advice is the worst. But I hope there is some encouragement in that for you!
Above all. You’re doing it. Both kids are alive. So you’re doing great 🙂