Yesterday I had a surprise breakdown. Please tell me this happens to other people – you’re having a great day, you’re not suffering from an, ahem, monthly visitor, you’re not stressed – but then suddenly you’re crying uncontrollably.
Hopefully I’m not the only one here 🙂
Anyway, the idea of grace can sometimes escape me. After years of being a Christian I have yet to understand, fully and at any given point in time, the extreme audacity of Christ’s love and lavish grace. Even now I’m at a loss, even after the complete breakdown I had this morning.
See, when that moment of realization comes it hits me like a ton of bricks, and my knee-jerk reaction is always tears. My poor, sweet, amazing friends didn’t know what hit them when I started ugly crying all up in that room!
Basically what happened is this: I read Mark 1:40-41. The Message version. And here’s what it says:
“A leper came to him, begging on his knees, ‘If you want to, you can cleanse me.’ DEEPLY MOVED, Jesus put out his hand, touched him, and said, ‘I WANT TO. Be clean.”
Y’all, Jesus saw this man and he was moved. He cared. He was concerned for this child of his, this one who had nothing, who was in pain. He cared. And when no one else wanted to touch him, when this man was an outcast of the most severe kind, Jesus wanted to touch him and he wanted to heal him. And then he did.
My mind is blown by the sheer love in those few words, the compassion, the mercy, the healing. And it struck me yesterday at just the right time that the grace Jesus gave to the leper he extends freely to me as well. Despite my jealousy and idols and anger and impatience. Despite my hidden sin that, although I look fine on the outside, makes my heart uglier than any disease. He is moved. And he wants to heal.
BOOM. Tears again.
Anyway, so I ugly cried in front of some of the sweetest gals I’ve ever met and then came home with a headache and just enough ingredients in the fridge for this awesome meal. Simple, flavorful, beautiful and just comforting enough to get my head on straight. I seriously adore these hardboiled eggs from Great Day Farms (you can get them in the deli section at Walmart). In addition to this super yummy meal I love eating them just with a sprinkle of salt, pepper and paprika for a quick snack!