“Okay, maybe I’m being a little narcissistic. Okay, a 9.3 [on a scale of 10]. But what do you think a blog is? It’s me, me, me, day after day!”
I’ve been struggling lately. Struggling with fitting everything in every day. Struggling to put life first and the blog second. Struggling to put everything else first and then myself second. Struggling to sleep, to get my baby to sleep, to write, to fulfill ideas and promises and find a clear vision. And let’s not even get started on putting God first. There are days that I don’t even know what that looks like.
I wrote a series that has blown up online about how blogging is my real job, and I’ve said hundreds of times that I feel so blessed to call it that. I really, really do. But there are also times that, as in all things, there’s a bit of burnout going on. I can’t say that what I’m feeling right now is burnout because I am so inspired all day long. But the innate pull is to focus inward, to talk about me, to promote me.
This wears on me, you know? And it makes me question the why I feel so heavy and burdened with something that I love so much. Sunday we were going through Galatians 5:16-26 and I just had this burning desire to make my online presence one that is humble, working to promote others over myself. And I realized that I can do that because this blog, as huge of a blessing as it is, is not what defines me. I’m free because Christ died for me, and I can have peace about putting myself last because He’s always the one who fills me up.
It’s a journey, this blogging gig, and around every turn it turns into something more and more beautiful and life-giving. I believe that God is using it to change me, and my prayer is that He will use it to change even some of the small parts of this world!
kimberly says
Thanks for this friend. And even our blog doesn’t have to be about ourselves – it can be about others!
Ava says
remember that if all you ever touch is one person… that’s worth it 🙂 but, I think you have touched several of us!
Lisa @ Fresh Eggs Daily says
Great read for first thing in the morning as I sit trying to muster up the energy to write. yet. another. blog. post.
I do blog for a living and the balance between providing entertainment/advice/info and promoting both myself, my book and my sponsors becomes draining when all I want to do is write about what I WANT to! I am with you tho, I think that in my own small way I’m changing world for at least some people (and their chickens) and that makes it all worth it.
Heather says
Right there with you girl!
Urban Wife says
You’re such a blessing to so many, myself included. It is clear by this post alone that your heart is in the right spot. Praying for you. Xoxo
Liz @ I Heart Vegetables says
My goodness I love this post! What a hard balance to strike (especially because as a professional blogger, you sort of DO have to self promote…!) You’re such an inspiration, Heather 🙂 I’m so glad I’ve found your blog!
Tieghan says
I can feel this way sometimes. I get overwhelmed very easy, so this is something I struggle with. I LOVE what I am doing, but sometimes it feels tiring. I mean, we both know this blogging thing is hard work and pretty much a 24/7 job. You amaze with how hard you work well still being an amazing mom and wife. You’ll get through this and come out with your head held high!!
lindsay says
could not agree more mama! keep that heart focused on GOD and others. Blessing!