Week 6: We All Have Needs

I am still very much in shock that we now have a 6-week-old on our hands again. For the millionth time, wasn’t he just born yesterday?! Weren’t we just in the hospital?! It all feels so close at hand and yet so far away; forget about the fact that I don’t even remember being pregnant anymore. Which is probably a good thing.

 

Having a second child is a completely different ball game than having just one. The first time around I was in shock all the time, panic-stricken and Googling various things, worried all the time. And truth be told, I do the same thing where Wes is concerned pretty much still to this day too. With Austin I’ve been reading and re-reading all of Weston’s weekly updates and trying to figure out how the heck we did this the first time around. According to Wes’ 6-week update we started putting him on more of a bedtime schedule – definitely don’t remember that – and I’m starting to see that we probably need to be doing that with Austin now too. He’s sleeping for longer stretches in between feedings at night, and so I think having a bed time will start to normalize life again for everyone.

Austin continues to be more and more awake, which means we get to see more of his adorable little face and beautiful blue eyes more often. His cheeks, y’all, are HUGE. And they were that way when he was born! But with all the yummy milk he’s drinking they’re getting bigger and I just can’t handle it. I munch on them on a minute-by-minute basis.

 

One of the funniest things in the world for me is when he falls asleep nursing (which is 99% of the time) and starts to not only smile, but chuckle while he’s still latched. It’s so cute, and even though I get frustrated having to wake him up every 3 minutes I kind of love that he does that. And I secretly kind of love that he just is so comfy being close to me, frustration or not.

 

Something our pediatrician told us last week was that it’s likely that if he’s a good sleeper at night, which so far he is, then he’ll likely be more of a cat-napper during the day. She couldn’t have hit the nail more square on the head with that one! I’m super thankful that he’s sleeping well at night, but admittedly it’s really hard during the day when he wakes up early from naps and is basically eating every 2 hours. I would say it’s a growth spurt, but it’s been like this for a few weeks now. More than anything it just makes it hard to plan anything because his “schedule” is so up in the air! Regardless, it IS nice that he’s sleeping 4-5 hour stretches at night, and I really think once we get a real bedtime established it’ll help even more.

 

Is it bad that I don’t really want to go through the work to do that? Just sayin’…

As if growing two humans wasn’t enough, I thought it would be good this year to have a bigger garden! It’s been so nice because Nate has helped tremendously even though the veggie-growing is decidedly my thing. We are growing Arkansas Traveler tomatoes (again), Cherokee purple tomatoes (that I harvested the seeds from – I feel so domesticated!), eggplant, jalapeños, parsley, basil, cilantro, thyme, and rosemary. I actually had plans to create an even bigger garden in a plot in our yard, but after being pregnant and having a baby I just didn’t see that going down. We’ll be doing container gardening for at least one more year!

 

Something that’s been weighing on me a lot lately is the idea of doing it all. I want so badly to a woman who raises children, a garden, keeps a gorgeous house, works full-time, works out consistently, eats immaculately, and does it all with a smile on her face (and the occasional shower). But reality sets in pretty quickly with demands for more milk, more food, wanting to play, and then the startling realization that I honestly don’t know when the last time I showered was. Heck, I don’t even know if I brushed my teeth today. Makeup has yet to graze my face for at least 6 weeks now, I haven’t had a hair style in over a year, and the whole ombre hair color thing I have going on? Is because I haven’t colored my hair in forever. This isn’t meant to be a pity party, I guess I just thought it was all going to be a bit easier. And I know this time is super short – that soon Austin will be crawling and exploring and able to be left for two seconds on the floor by himself. But dang if the thought of “we are DONE having kids!” hasn’t crossed my mind daily for the past 6 weeks now.

 

More than that though, we are SUPER blessed beyond measure to have these boys. Even in the hard times I would never change being their mother for anything in the world. They’re all I ever wanted, even before I knew I wanted them. I’m OK with waiting a while longer to feel more feminine and lovely if it means I get to spend my days figuring out the best ways to love them. The housework can wait, I can work late at night, and my exercise will now be in the form of truly chasing one kid around while wearing the other one!

 

I feel like I should add that I have been watching an inordinate amount of late night TV while nursing Austin, but more than anything I’ve been obsessively watching It’s Complicated and anything on HGTV. Why? I don’t know. But I DO know that I’m kind of crazy about it now and even Nate is concerned about my television well-being. So it goes!

 

Here’s to another week with my boys!