I have a ton of baby books that I have yet to read…and in case you guys didn’t see the panic-stricken posts from last week, we’re over halfway through this pregnancy.
YIKES.
I know that reading can’t completely prepare you for being a mommy, but I do like to go into things prepared. And having a baby? Yeah, I’m not prepared to do anything but snuggle him all day long. But something tells me that snuggling alone doesn’t always do it for a baby. I’ve also been wanting to read Baby Wise, which has been highly recommended by about 10 people in the last week. So on top of all the other books we’ll just have to add that one since I want to sleep and want the baby to sleep. Seems slightly important.
I will say though, last night I was sitting on the couch and feeling him move a little bit and couldn’t help but think that I am so excited to meet him. And there have been so many friends (including some of you guys!) who have told me that I will just know when the time comes. I’ll just know how to feed him and have instincts on when to feed and change and play and let him sleep…and that gives me so much comfort. Although I’m still planning on reading and learning as much as I can, I am getting more comfortable with the idea of being a mommy every day.
Besides, when I think about Nate and his baby pictures and the stories I’ve heard about when he was a baby I can’t help but get excited to have such a sweet baby in our lives. And it makes me that much happier to know that I’ll just get the hang of it!
Our friends keep telling us ” the best advice is not to listen to any advice” they keep telling us that it is different for everyone – what worked for themight not work for you. Also the book that was recommended to me was the happiest lid on the block!! And it is a boy so happy for you!!
Where have I been…I had no idea you were pregnant. Many blessings to you! Believe me, when the time comes, you WILL know what to do. You’re not going to let your little one go hungry or cold, so you’ll feed him and swaddle him and change his diaper and love him! My little girl (my first) was just born in July. I’m certainly not a pro, but I’ve definitely figured it out. You will be a fantastic mommy! Congrats! 🙂
We used babywise and the secrets of the baby whisperer (this book was spool helpful to me!) and Caleb slept thru the night very early and is an extremely good baby. Routine is key. You don’t have to follow a strict schedule either, but consistency is key.
Also, husband coached childbirth (the Bradley method) helped me with my natural birth. Excited for you guys!
I agree with Whitney. I read a few books, but didn’t go overboard. Every baby is different, and once your baby is born you and you are home with him for a few days you will figure everything out. You will very quickly learn what his different cries mean (hungry, dirty, scared, etc.). Your best advice will come from other moms (yours included!), and your pediatrician-not books.
I started reading books when I first found out I was pregnant. Then I found out it was twins and I was just so overwhelmed any time I opened one up. So instead I took a class at the hospital (you know so I wouldn’t physically harm my children when I got home!) but everything else has been a take it as it comes, go with my gut kind of thing. And you know what- it’s working just fine. So I wouldn’t stress about reading the books. I find myself turning to my mom and other mothers when I have a question and then just doing what feels the best to me.
There has been a lot of controversy surrounding BabyWise, so I would take that book with a grain of salt. Yes, some of the methods have worked for people, but there have also been reports of babies suffering from failure to thrive. Babies, especially breastfed babies, are not supposed to be fed on a schedule – they are supposed to be fed on-demand. I’m sure you can get more info from your pediatrician, but I just wanted to recommend you read up on the dangers of BabyWise. Gary Ezzo isn’t even a doctor – he’s a minister.
I just read Ina Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth and loved it. The first half of the book is entirely devoted to birth stories. It begins by talking about how in today’s society we hear all the scary stories and associate birth with pain. It’s definitely very “crunchy” but at the end of the day I loved reading all these positive experiences – not ignoring the pain, but explaining the mental approach these women took to labor. Very much mind over matter. I also never felt like it was telling me I was wrong if I chose to have my baby in a hospital (whereas I feel some natural birth books focus a bit more on scaring you instead of supporting various options).
I second listening to the Pregtastic podcast. I started listening with my first pregnancy (some of my friends were involved in it) and it was a great way to be connected and hear others stories before I had shared the news with anyone else. After my miscarriage I stopped listening for awhile, but then started with my second pregnancy and it still proved to be a good source of comfort.
Congrats on the halfway point! For me that’s when time started to slow down – all of a sudden instead of telling people I was “almost 18 or almost 19 weeks” I shifted to the “oh, I think I’m about 22 weeks (even if it was really 23). I’m still in that stage – 32 weeks and mentally it’s just easier to say “about 30 weeks.”
I read Babywise. It definitely provided a great framework for us – Toby slept through the night around 5-6 weeks following it! What to expect is NOT something to just read. It will make you SUPER anxious. Use it only when you have questions. I also read Pregnancy Sucks – a humorous take on pregnancy that let’s you know what to expect, good and bad, and how it’s ok to not be thrilled about it.
Definitely get Babywise. I did what the book said, but catered it to both of my girls. It has worked wonderfully and I am finally getting some sleep 🙂
I would also recommend Babywise, though we certainly didn’t follow it to the letter. It at least made me feel like I was somewhat in control of an out-of-control situation (Gigi was a TOUGH baby).
Baby wise was also the number 1 book everyone told me to get and you know what? I thought it was soooo strict and hardcore but I tried anyway because everyone insisted on it. I eventually just stopped with all yr books and by month 2 Remy fell into his own schedule and is doing amazing now (5 months later). It really is true Heather, once that sweet baby is home with you it’ll all fall into place and your inner Momma will shine!
I want to read Baby Wise– I’ve also heard good things about The Happiest Baby on the Block– I think it’s supposed to be a not-as-strict version of the same idea?
I’m over my pregnancy books…I think I read What to Expect in about two days flat, when I was about 6 weeks pregnant, ha. I burned myself out 🙂
Do you listen to the Pregtastic podcast? You can download them free from i-tunes, and they’re SO great. I’ve been listening to them on my walks!
The only book you really need is the Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy. You’ll laugh all the way thru it! I have a copy & have lent it to various friends in our 8 state Air Force journey. All of these friends (and myself) have signed the front w/ their name, the baby’s name & birthdate & stats (ht, wt, etc). It’s now an awesome keepsake.
I know you said you were hoping for a natural birth, so I would recommend any book by Ina May Gaskin. She has books on pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding, and they’re all very good. The language can get a little bit hippy-dippy, but if you can overlook that, they’re definitely worth a read.
“The Happiest Baby on the Block” is also very good. It emphasizes the importance of swaddling and techniques for calming a colic-y baby. Good info to have in your mental arsenal for those meltdown moments. I would NOT recommend reading either of the giant “What to Expect” books. Keep them on hand for when you have specific questions, but otherwise leave them alone. They’ll just freak you out unnecessarily.
Please do your research on Baby Wise. https://ezzo.info/
i agree… my pastor’s wife said he was booted from a couple churches for holding up his teachings as ordained by God. she also said to stay away from the “what to expect” books – lots of worse case scenarios that are unnecessarily scary – go for something like the mayo guide to pregnancy instead, i have liked that one. i’m planning a natural birth too & LOVED ina may gaskin’s guide to childbirth. i have one of the bradley method books on my list, as well as taking one of their birthing series classes (you can find their website & find a class in your area). also recommend “loving the little years” by rachel jankovic & “the womanly art of breastfeeding” by the la leche league. also, are you thinking about a doula? we found a great lady & everytime we meet with her i get more excited for labor! and they are a great resource for first time mommies like us!