As some of you may remember, seven days ago I turned 27 years old. And on my birthday I found out that my Papa, 88 years old, would probably not be around much longer. It broke my heart, and I’d be lying if I said that the week since hearing that hasn’t been full of stress the likes of which I’ve never really known. Sadness in my heart and trying to play life like it was normal. Worrying constantly about my family, specifically my Grandma, and how they were doing. Hoping that he was feeling no pain and that he knew how much he was loved. I didn’t post it on the blog, but Friday night my dad held the phone to Papa’s ear so I could say goodbye. Talk about heart-breaking. I didn’t really know what to do the rest of the night. Thankfully I have an incredible husband who just held me and loved me through the pain.
My Papa was a great man, so full of love and life, and I remember him always lighting up when we would walk in the room. As my dad has been saying, he and my grandmother have lived a legacy of love that I feel honored to pass on to our children.
He was in the Navy and he made wedding cakes. He made a killer garlic salad dressing that I could eat all day long. He and my Grandma would watch Days of Our Lives and he could (and would!) hold an entire conversation around how John and Marlena were doing and what Stefano was up to this week. He was an incredible horticulturist and had the prettiest roses I’ve ever seen. When we would go out to see my family in California he and Grandma would always take us to McDonald’s to play poker and show off their granddaughters.
I’ll never forget his smell, the incredible pride that he carried himself with, and the love that he and my Grandma have always bestowed upon us. He was amazing, and I miss him already. My only encouragement right now is knowing that he feels no pain and that he is with our Lord and Savior.
Papa, I love you and I wish I’d told you and every day what you mean to me.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD