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As some of you may remember, seven days ago I turned 27 years old. And on my birthday I found out that my Papa, 88 years old, would probably not be around much longer. It broke my heart, and I’d be lying if I said that the week since hearing that hasn’t been full of stress the likes of which I’ve never really known. Sadness in my heart and trying to play life like it was normal. Worrying constantly about my family, specifically my Grandma, and how they were doing. Hoping that he was feeling no pain and that he knew how much he was loved. I didn’t post it on the blog, but Friday night my dad held the phone to Papa’s ear so I could say goodbye. Talk about heart-breaking. I didn’t really know what to do the rest of the night. Thankfully I have an incredible husband who just held me and loved me through the pain.
My Papa and my beautiful cousin Katie
My Papa was a great man, so full of love and life, and I remember him always lighting up when we would walk in the room. As my dad has been saying, he and my grandmother have lived a legacy of love that I feel honored to pass on to our children.
He was in the Navy and he made wedding cakes. He made a killer garlic salad dressing that I could eat all day long. He and my Grandma would watch Days of Our Lives and he could (and would!) hold an entire conversation around how John and Marlena were doing and what Stefano was up to this week. He was an incredible horticulturist and had the prettiest roses I’ve ever seen. When we would go out to see my family in California he and Grandma would always take us to McDonald’s to play poker and show off their granddaughters.
I’ll never forget his smell, the incredible pride that he carried himself with, and the love that he and my Grandma have always bestowed upon us. He was amazing, and I miss him already. My only encouragement right now is knowing that he feels no pain and that he is with our Lord and Savior.
Papa, I love you and I wish I’d told you and every day what you mean to me.
PSALM 23
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
AMEN.
Heather – I’m sure your Papa knew how much you loved + cared for him, even without you telling him everyday. 🙂
My prayers are with you and your family. Heaven just got a bit more brigther!
I promise I know how to spell BRIGHTER! oops!;)
I’m just going through my Reader since yesterday was so insane. Sorry to hear about your Papa. Let me know if you need anything and of course my prayers will be with your family.
There is a season for everything under the sun. Letting go of that human relationship feels dreadful, but knowing that there spirit is ahead of ours is hopeful. It’s not a loss to loose someone to Christ.
Hugs
i’m so sorry, heather. prayers for your family.
That was a beautiful tribute to your papa. It is never easy, but it makes us stop to think what our legacy might be to leave behind, as your papa left one for you. Prayers go out to you my dear, and yes, he is in a much happier place now smiling down on you everyday.
I’m so sorry. Losing a grandparent is so hard- I was in your shoes not too long ago. Thinking of you.
Heather, I am so sorry about your loss! Thoughts, prayers, hugs and every morsel of sympathy are being sent your way! If you need anything, please don’t ever hesitate girl.
<3 <3 <3
Heather, as many before me have said, what a beautiful tribute to your Papa—I’m so sorry for your loss–but yet rejoicing that he no longer suffers and is dancing with Jesus in Heaven. I am tearful as I read this as I remember the loss of my Father this year. It is always difficult–smile with the wonderful memories you have of him. Hugs to you and your beautiful family! Will keep your family–especially your Grandmother–in my prayers. Love You!
Heather, I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁 You and Nate have an amazing relationship and definitely shine through the example that your Grandparents (and parents) must have given to you! xo <3
Heather – my thoughts are with you and your family!
You and your family are in my prayers, Heather. Much love.
I’m at starbucks right now reading this bawling like a baby. This post is beautiful and I can completely relate to you as my grandpa is sick as well. <3 hang in there, you're an amazing and strong and beautiful individual.
I’m in the same exact place right now and I feel for you. My Grandma has had cancer for several years and has decided to drop chemo. Ever since she has rapidly declined and is looking at her last weeks. It’s heartbreaking and hard as I have lost few people in my life that I have loved.
What a beautiful testament to your grandfather. Just keep reminding yourself of what you wrote and that he is in heaven and you’ll see him again.
I’m so sorry heather, I am thinking of you today.
God bless your grandpa, and you too, of course. This was a beautiful tribute to his memory.
Thinking of you, Heather…I lost my grandmother last year; it’s important to carry on the memories that we have. Sending the happiest vibes your way!
Trust me… I know what you’re going through!
My prayers to you and your family.
What a beautiful post, I know it’s hard. Thank you for sharing this, truly.
I went through an eerily similar situation and to this day I can cry on a dime if I think about it, and that’s OK.
God is good!
God bless you and Papa. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
so sorry for your loss:-(
I’m sorry Heather. He sounds like a great Papa and it sounds like he is surrounded by a wonderful family.
Oh Heather – tears streaming down my face! This is beautiful. Your Papa sounds like an amazing man and the world is a better place because of his contributions and love. Thinking about you. xo
Your in my prayers- What a wonderful post about a man I don’t know but want to love anyways!! Thank you for sharing!!
I’m so sorry for your families loss. Anyone who could hold a conversation about Days Of Our Lives holds a special place in my heart.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I just lost my Pappy to cancer 3 months ago. It still hurts. Hugs to you!
Beautiful tribute. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this right now. You’re in my thoughts and I’m sending good vibes your way!
Your papa sounds like a wonderful man. Praising God that he’s with Him right now. I will be praying for you and your family.
He sounds like a wonderful man 🙂
*Pug Hugs*
One BIG HUG from across the internet from a total stranger.
So sorry to hear this Heather. Hang in there and know that many many people are praying for you and your family right now. Stay strong.
Sorry to hear that. I’ve lost both of my dad’s parents, and it is hard everytime you lose anyone. I wish you the best in getting through this 🙂 We are all here for you!
So sorry to hear it 🙁 very touching tribute.
heather, i have NO doubt that your pa knew just how much you loved and cherished him. in just this short blog post it is obvious to all of us. i’m thinking of you and your family.
I’m going to miss Papa, RIP Cool Hunk. I’m sure he is up in heaven with Jay looking down on us and smiling saying, “well all be together one day”.
tears tears tears. loss is so hard. xo
<3
Well… that certainly doesn’t look like it should. Love you!