Happy Thursday everyone! I hope yours is going as well as mine is thus far 🙂
Last night’s dinner was a little something I made up called Roasted Shrimp, Tomato, and Ricotta Pasta:
First of all, let me iterate that I love pasta. Adore it. Would eat it for just about every meal if my husband would let me! Here’s the recipe:
- 2 cartons of cherry or plum tomatoes
- 4-5 cloves garlic, left whole and in their skins
- 2 Tbsp olive oil, divided
- 40-50 small raw shrimp, deveined and tails removed, rinsed with water and pat dry with a paper towel
- 2 cups raw sliced mushrooms
- 2 Tbsp red wine vinegar
- 1 package whole wheat linguine
- 1 15-oz container of ricotta cheese (I think mine was part skim)
- 1/2 cup pasta water OR skim milk
Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain and set to the side. Toss tomatoes and whole garlic cloves in olive oil and roast for 10-20 minutes in a 425 degree oven, tossing every 5 minutes or so until caramelized. Do not let the garlic burn. Transfer to a plate, and when cool enough remove the skins from the garlic cloves and mash with a fork. Toss shrimp with the remaining Tbsp of olive oil. Spread on the baking sheet and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast for about 7-8 minutes at 425, or until done. Meanwhile in a pot combine the garlic cloves and mushrooms over medium heat, stirring constantly. Deglaze with the red wine vinegar. Once the mushrooms start to look a little done, add the tomatoes, ricotta, and pasta water OR milk. Stir until combined and heated through. Add the shrimp and the pasta, and stir until everything is coated. Done!
After dinner we watched Modern Family, then I went upstairs and made lime-coconut bars (recipe coming later today) and banana bread. It made our house smell so tropical! When everything was done baking I decided to go upstairs and pamper myself a little using these great samples I won from Janna!
The top one is a face wash (smelled AH-mazing), then some moisturizer, a pore-shrinking mask, and some eye gel. It all worked SO WELL, and smelled like I was in a fancy spa. I felt pretty good after my self-pampering, and went to bed!
This morning I got up and did some yoga, then started the day off with about 1/3 cup nonfat yogurt (all that was left in the container), a Tbsp of Bonne Maman Cherry Preserves, and about 1/2 cup of pumpkin granola. Yum!
Definitely a great way to start off a warm day 🙂
So yes, last night. I was not OK at all. And honestly I don’t really know what triggered it, but as soon as we got home I burst into tears. It was like any shred of self-confidence I ever had burst into flames and melted away. I think the fact that my knee hurts and severely limits my activity was/is a huge factor in this, but basically I can feel all of the hard work I’ve put in since November towards my weight loss just slipping away. I know I could limit what I eat more, and I’m trying, but the thing is I love being active, and now I can’t even do that. One of the few things I could do to center myself and feel OK with the world is being stripped away, and I don’t know what to do with it.
It’s times like this that I know I’m being watched over though. While I curled up on the bed, sobbing my eyes out, my husband came in and held my and talked to me. He said a lot of things that I didn’t want to hear because I was somehow finding comfort in wallowing in my own self-pity. But you know what? Those things he said are exactly what I needed to hear. And then this morning I read this post on Tina’s blog, and I just knew that it was posted on this day for me to read (whether she knows that or not :))
Something Nate said to me the other day is that ever since he’s known me I’ve never been one to just give up. I guess I felt like I lost that person, but you know what? I’m not giving up. Not after I’ve worked so hard to get the point where I am today. Yes it’s going to be a rough road and there will be tears, but there will also be a lot of love and a lot of prayer. And there will be success – a success that isn’t a number on the scale or a size in pants, but success in loving the woman that God created me to be. It doesn’t get much more successful than that!
Do you feel like you’re successful? What do you define success as? How do you want to change to feel better about yourself (IF you feel that way)? When I really sit down and look at my life, I would definitely say that I’m successful in just about every area of life except for my own perception of my beauty. I’m smart, athletic, kind of funny (I think so anyway), a good cook, a good fur-mom, a good daughter/sister/friend/wife. The thing is I want to see those things more consistently and learn to love the way I look as well. Have any of you ever gone from despising the way you look to loving it? What steps did you take to get there?
I’m so glad Nate told you that stuff. You are so amazing heather, and honestly there is no one like you in the world. You have the biggest heart and you are such a great woman, and I couldn’t have asked for a better big sister. You don’t give up…its not in the Schoenecke blood (believe me…haha I’ve tried and it doesn’t work) and you WILL be successful. I love you, and you are amazing. don’t ever tell yourself that you are any less than amazing
Oh dear, I totally understand. I have been having a lot of those random crying nights recently. I don’t feel successful in my job, or much of my life when I put just the facts on paper (income, job title, etc). I know that I have a good life and that I am a successful person, but it is so hard sometimes to remember this. I don’t know what I’d do without my husband around to get through some of those tough days–sounds like Nate is an awesome support for you!
I just LOVE the picture of your pasta. Sorry about your night. I waffle back and forth with how I feel about my appearances, as someone that’s been overweight most of my life, I find it to be important to focus on the positive. Even if it’s my hair or my eyes or something.
Awww, Heather!
How inspiring!
You´re tough, girl 🙂
Delicious pasta dish, btw.
Have a great night!
Brazilian XOXO´s,
Gabriela
Oh honey! I think Nate sounds like a pretty awesome man! And I LOVED how you explained success…with that we are all successful in our right and that is an amazing feeling!
Honestly, whenever I am feeling down I always turn to Keith. He grounds me…and he reminds me of all the things he loves about me and that always makes me smile. What I learned is that usually the parts of my body that I HATE the most are the exact parts he LOVES the most. I am always complaining that my legs are big and he is always telling me he likes how strong they look. I am always looking at those pencil thin movie stars and thinking they are gorgeous and yet Keith’s favorite movie star is Drew Barymore and she is curvy (for Hollywood standards) The bottom line is that Keith always says that he wishes I could see myself through HIS eyes. So the next time you feel down try looking at yourself through Nate’s eyes and I gaurantee you will feel better. We are always hardest on ourselves!
I am SO SO SO SO sorry about your knee and my heart does break for you. But think postive! I put a lot of stake in the power of postive thinking! You are fabulous Heather and don’t ever let yourself forget that!
How I understand you..
Anyway, yes I’ve gone from despising my body to loving it. And I do love it most days. Most. There are also days when I don’t love it at all. And when those happen I TRY to remember the things my body allows me to do and also, that I’m pretty damn lucky to be as healthy as I am. 🙂
What a great “open” post doll!
First of all, I think your dinner sounds wonderful! I am going to make this with my brown rice pasta!
I hear ya with your melt down, I think we have all been there and you tend to need these little “issues” to get yourself back in check and back on track! You are a strong woman!!
I define success as me living my life happy and fulfilled! I decided long ago I want to live my life every day doing what I love and being me! This is a great question!
I love being successful enough where I can help others 🙂
Have a super day!
XXOO
I love pasta too! And there’s so many different things you can do with it so you literally could eat it every night and it would never get old!
I wanted to add that maybe you can try swimming? If your knee is keeping you from running right now, get in the pool (I guarantee you’ll feel much better) and see how you do!
I love your attitude of refusing to give up!!! Weight and body image struggles are SO DIFFICULT, but we have to trust that somehow, someday we will emerge from them. When I’m feeling really low, I try to remind myself that when God looks at me, all He sees is a beautiful young woman – He doesn’t see a roll on my stomach or a blemish on my face. He sees his CHILD, a child he loves and adores. He loves and adores you so much, Heather!!!
Sending you a hug through the blogosphere (( )). Stay strong! It takes the bad days to appreciate the good ones!
I agree with Jessica and Estela, for me, those times come from feeling unhappy or unsettled elsewhere. When I have a “fat” day, I realize that my body did not change dramatically over night and that the day before I felt great about my wardrobe, my face, my hair, whatever. So what is going that makes me feel terrible about these things today. I think that, for me, my mind tends towards feeling “fat” instead of feeling what the real issue is. Just like eating for emotional reasons, it is just easier to not deal with it. But go into those moments with awareness and be honest with yourself about what they are really about.
Sounds to me like you are feeling down about not being able to run because of your knee. I would encourage you to find a way to be active that you enjoy instead of running.
You are a strong and beautiful woman and you deserve everything you want from life. Take good care of yourself.
I truly believe every woman has moments like this!
Like Jessica said… I feel it happens when we’re not happy in general about other things. When we’re not happy, we find may find ways to criticize ourselves.
Its all about attitude. Keep your head up! You’re a wonderful woman!
I’m sorry about your rough afternoon. Although I have a come along way in how I feel about the way I look in the past few months, I still have these type of days. What helps me get through them is starting a list about the things my body can do and does for me every day. Every time I am having a down moment, I read the list, and then I try and add something to it. It really puts things into perspective for me and I begin to be thankful about my body.
Hope you feel better soon!
I have those days, too…
When I was in a job I loved, I never had one of those days. It’s all about the attitude!
Keep your head up! 🙂
Keep your chin up girl!
I try to focus on what my body and mind lets me do rather than how I look.
Hey Heather,
So completely feeling with you on the “not being able to do sports” thing … I burned my stomach with boiling water yesterday (it’s not looking very pretty) and not only am I in complete pain & saying goodbye to my bikini for my next holidays in 3 weeks; I am also really annoyed since I started a “get a lot fitter and toned” programm about 2 months ago. I found yogadownload.com (so thrilled to be able to do yoga at home for free!), I also do a lof of walking (you are not alone with the walking-not-running-thing either!) and some tae bo boxing!
And now I won’t be able to do ANY sports for up to 1 month or more 🙁
AND I feel really uncomfortable as I need to get back to work (doing my clerkship at the moment) tomorrow and I cannot imagine wearing anything over my stomach! Even with a bandage.
I surfed over to the http://www.operationbeautiful.com website to look at all those lovely post-it’s!! So uplifting! (I live in Germany and I’ve made it my goal to bring a bit of that movement spirit into German changing rooms and toilets :-))
You know, everything that you are (wonderful wife, cook, the athlete in you, the great blogger…!) is not going away just because you have to take it slow for some time!
Enjoy everything you are able to do right now and when it’s meant to be for you to run and dance again, you will!
A massive chocolaty hug over from Germany for you!! (a little bit of chocolate always helps :-))
I must try this shrimp dish! I love shrimp because it’s so fast and easy to make.
To answer your question…yes I hated the way I looked for a LONG time. Being 250 pounds I was never happy with the way I looked, or felt. After losing the weight, I finally was able to find things I loved about my body.
I know how you feel. I have just been able to start working out again after 6 months more or less on the couch. I injuried my foot, which made it so I could not work my job and was told not to walk much. Being an active person that planned to quit my job and travel around hiking and climbing with my husband right before my injury made it even worse. You learn soon that there is nothing else you can do than follow the doctors orders and try to heal fast. It is a tough and emotional road, but with the love and support of family and friends you get through it. I have been able to work out for only 2 weeks now and have never been so happy to see a gym. You will get through it, just try to stay positive as best as you can!