Happy Monday morning all! Hope you guys had an amazing weekend like I did 🙂
Yesterday morning we were in a hurry to get to church, so we stopped at Einstein’s for some bagels:
I didn’t realize that I really wanted the power bagel until they’d already made the blueberry one, so I ate it anyway…not like it wasn’t delicious! It’s a blueberry bagel with reduced fat honey almond schmear. YUM 🙂
Church was great, but I’ll get into that later. Nate and Amy and I decided to hit up DD’s Sourdough Pizza after church! They have really great lunch specials there. I got a D’Pesto Calzone (pesto, artichoke hearts, sundried tomatoes, red onion, mozzarella, and ricotta) and a drink for $8! I ate the whole thing, but Nate and I decided that once I can eat meat again we’ll start sharing a lunch special. It’s more than enough food and that would come out to $4 a person!
When we got home we were doing some work on the computers and then accidentally fell asleep…oops! It was snowing and cold outside, and oh-so-snuggly indoors. Just couldn’t help it I guess! When we awakened we started cleaning a little more, and then decided to hit up the store before the snow got too bad. We ended up at Walmart and ate at Subway there…no pictures because I didn’t think we were going to eat! Sorry! I had a 6″ flatbread veggie delight with lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, red onion, pickles, olives, banana peppers, and sweet onion sauce. Oh, and 1.5 cookies 🙂 When we got home we just finished up laundry and did some blog-stalking before hitting the sack!
This morning I got up WAAAAAAAAAAAY too early (still felt like 5 instead of 6!) to do the weight part of the workout on my HPJ page…tomorrow’s the last day! The good news? I’m already there 🙂 Now I’m working on a workout plan that accomodates my healing knee and incorporates more weight training so I can (hopefully) get a little more toned over the coming months. I’m hoping to finish it this coming weekend and start next Monday! Breakfast was a Green(ish) Monster:
I made a little extra to freeze and eat with lunch 🙂 I’m so excited I get to see my sister tomorrow! She and her boyfriend are coming up tomorrow and will be here through Friday! I wish my parents could come too, but they’ve got some fun travel coming up at the end of this month and needed to stay home. But I’m excited to show them around the area and hit the slopes for Skiing 101 on Thursday 🙂
I mentioned earlier I would talk about church for a bit. Yesterday Nate and I and 2 other couples were able to get up in front of everyone and talk about some recent conflict in our lives, and how we’ve been able to get through that together and with the people (our friends and family) in our lives. Nate and I went first, and basically were talking about how we both want to be in control all the time and react to uncontrollable situations poorly. The next couple went, and started talking about how they’ve recently been struggling with coming to grips with their inability to have children the traditional way. Honestly, there was not a dry eye in the house! But here’s the thing: in the middle of listening, I started to think something horrible: that she was lucky she didn’t have to worry about her body changing. There are so many women, several of whom I am blessed to be friends with, who would change their bodies a million times over if only they could have children. Then I thought to myself that, sure, we’ll have kids…but only after I lose some weight. And that’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks that I really could not be more ridiculous about this.
Why ridiculous? As I’ve said before, I believe that every woman has a right to choose whether she wants to try to have children or not. There is no right or wrong answer to that, and it depends on each individul. I DO want to have children, but the ridiculous part comes with me saying that I want to wait to lose weight before starting to have kids. Not “I want to live healthfully and garner as many healthy habits as I can before having kids,” (which is what I should be focused on), but trying to lose weight before children? This is silly because it’s the perfect example of how my life has been dominated by my weight, my appearance, and my body issues. It’s silly to think that I can start living my life when I reach a certain weight or fit into a certain size. And it’s silly for anyone to think that their life will start when they get married, get skinny, have children, have the perfect job, the perfect salary, or whatever it is that is being idolized. I haven’t enjoyed spending time with people I love, haven’t taken risks that I need or want to take, and I haven’t lived my life to the fullest because of thoughts. I’ve been saving the way that I live so that when I get there I can be happy. My life started 26 years ago, and I have slowly wasted the time worrying about the way I look.
All of that flew threw my head yesterday morning while I was on stage at church in about 30 seconds. But I think the effects of that flow will last for much longer than that! I am vowing to myself to LIVE my life to the fullest, take chances on myself, and not put stuff off just because I think I need to be skinnier or make more money first. It’s going to be a process, but I’m starting my life NOW, and I don’t ever want to give it up to something ridiculous again!
How are you living? Is there something you’ve been putting off because of something silly? Are you ready to start LIVING?!?! 🙂
“Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.” D.H. Lawrence