On Having a Son

When we hit the 20 week mark in our pregnancy with Weston we skittered off to the doctor’s office, anxiously awaiting the very moment when we would find out if we were having a boy or a girl.  Well, I guess I should say I was anxious; Nate was totally fine either way.

Me on the other hand?  Growing up it was just me and my sister; I was never around boys all that much until I was in middle school/high school.  They were a mystery, totally weird, and I just didn’t really know what to make of them.  Since it was just us girls growing up, I figured that we would have a girl.  I don’t know if it was just because that’s all I knew and therefore that’s all I allowed myself to imagine or what; but going into that ultrasound I was about 98% sure that we were on our way to an overwhelming amount of pink clothing and tutus.

There we were, in the ultrasound room, waiting.  Waiting to see what the future held, waiting to make sure the baby was OK.  And in that waiting I got a feeling that the girl I was so sure we were going to have was not a girl at all.  I started to know that it was a boy – and in that same moment the Lord turned all the fear and anxiety on its head.  He reminded me of Bunker (our 100-pound lab – my first little guy) and how much I love him.  How much I cherish him and how I have such a different relationship with him than I do with Keira (our smaller dog).

I realize that we’re talking about dogs here, but I just have to admit that I love the way God teaches me these things.  Once I thought about Bunker and realized how much I loved having a male dog I was able to see that if (when) we had a boy I would be so incredibly overjoyed. We only really wanted a healthy baby, but once we found out that that baby was a son – my heart exploded.  I felt the most ridiculous amount of love literally bloom in my heart.

By the way, the first thing the doctor said when she saw Wes on the ultrasound was, “Second one’s a show-off!” and I am pretty sure I swallowed my tongue.  Multiples run in my family and yeah.  I panicked.  Turns out she actually said, “Second one today that’s a show-off.”  Phew.  I would so love twins, but I’m really thankful that God has given us exactly what we could handle right now 🙂

I never in my life pictured myself as a mother to a son.  I never knew what to expect, but I never expected that I would love and adore having a son as much as do.  It thrills me to hear him grunt and clank things together.  I relish the times that he storms through the house and hurls things on the floor.  I even like it when he tries to eat dirt and rocks and sticks, although I never let him follow through on it.

Having a boy is an adventure, and every experience continues to be new.  And while I would cherish having a daughter one day, for now all I can see is 4 sons making a mess of life and, in the process, turning me more and more into the mother I never imagined I could be.

Weston, your mommy and daddy are so thankful for you.  God really knew what he was doing when he sent you down to be our sweet son 🙂