My Heart Knows Yours

The other day I was watching Wes play in his diaper (his favorite outfit to play in!) when I caught site of his bellybutton.

 

Now I know to some that may sound random, and just to clarify I’ve seen his bellybutton countless times per day for the past {almost} eleven months.  It’s not a new site in this household.  But that day it just struck me – that little bellybutton is a visible (not to mention adorable) sign of the life that once lived in me.  That little wrinkled dip in my baby’s tummy is where I fed and sustained him for 41.5 weeks.  It’s where he grew and grew and grew, magically and by no power of mine.

 

I look at his bellybutton and stick my finger on it.  He lets out a shrill giggle and rolls over to crawl somewhere – I imagine he thinks he’s escaping to some faraway space as he climbs the mountain of couch pillows protecting him from the brick fireplace.  I watch this little man, active and brave, and I remember a time when I didn’t know who he was or who he would.

 

But my heart knew his. 

 

I can’t find a trace of that by a mark on his body, but I know the imprint of love he has left on my heart since the moment I knew I was pregnant.  I remember the times of fear that I faced while I was pregnant, and then I remember knowing that Wes was inside of me.  It made me brave, it made me fight for truth.

 

It made me love.

 

My heart knows his.

 

I watch my son now, growing daily into a strong and loving little boy.  He smiles and my heart melts; he laughs and I almost cry out because it feels like that puddle of a heart will burst at any moment.  He throws his food on the floor for the billionth time and I get frustrated, but one soft ruffling of his hair and I forget any frustration I had.  He reaches for everything, all the time, and I can’t help but wish that I went after things with utter abandon like he does.  Wes doesn’t know rejection, he doesn’t know yet that life is hard.  He’ll learn one day, but for now he just thirsts for experiences and discoveries.

 

My heart knows yours.

 

My sweet boy, your daddy and I love you more than you could ever imagine.  God has already used you to make huge changes in the hearts of two people; my prayer is that as you grow you will become the man, the leader, that I’ve always known you to be.  When you were just a tiny little guy in my tummy – even then you were strong and brave and comforting.  You helped lead your mommy to be the woman she has wanted to be for a very long time.  You may not have a mark on your body of this, but my heart has always known yours.  I love you sweet boy.