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Heather's Dish

Heather's Dish

Mom to Mom: What I Wish I’d Understood About Money When My Kids Were Younger

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The post Mom to Mom: What I Wish I’d Understood About Money When My Kids Were Younger is sponsored by the Arkansas 529 Education Savings Program. All words and opinions are my own.

Mom to Mom: What I Wish I'd Understood About Money When My Kids Were Younger #sponsored

Finances. 

The word alone used to feel so off-putting up until about 6 months ago, let alone actually taking action on the goals associated with them. I’m that girl who took accounting and finance classes in college (YAWN), but who just memorized the information enough to pass tests before quickly forgetting it. I always knew to save money and not spend beyond my means, and debt was a 4-letter word for us growing up. Beyond that, though? Financial literacy seemed like the Wild West. 

Over the past few years I’ve been slowly learning that financial literacy doesn’t have to be scary. With the depth and range of knowledge available online (and through my local library) I’ve begun to teach myself a little more about how to achieve the seemingly elusive financial freedom. In fact, rather than being scary, learning about this is FUN! Not at all like the accounting classes in college, because when you learn about personal finance and truly become involved what’s really happening is you’re saying YES to your dreams.

Mom to Mom: What I Wish I'd Understood About Money When My Kids Were Younger

Over the first few years of our marriage I had no problem letting Nate be the one to take charge of our finances. I mean, he knew more about it and seemed more comfortable doing it, so why not? As we’ve grown older though I started to wonder (somewhat morbidly) what would happen if something tragic happened to one of us? What if I found myself needing to know everything about our finances…but I didn’t? What if…? 

As a woman I’ve always known that lower wages and time off to care for children or aging parents already put me at a financial disadvantage. Statistics show that we typically outlive men by 7 years; 80% of women die widowed, whereas 80% of men die married. They also show that 50% of marriages end in divorce, another sad statistic that impacts our financial health. Both scenarios leave women in charge of finances, and if we have no experience or understanding then our standard of living (and all those dreams we’ve had) could very likely plummet. 

While that information is bleak and depressing, it is reasonable to live in a state of hope while still being prepared. After being faced with the economic disaster caused by COVID-19 I snapped to it and really started to educate myself about financial health. There’s still a lot to learn, but I feel significantly more confident in what to do in any number of scenarios. My only regret is that I didn’t start learning these things (and taking action) sooner! From one veteran mom to another, here are 5 simple things you can do TODAY to start taking control of your financial education!

Mom to Mom: What I Wish I'd Understood About Money When My Kids Were Younger
  1. Make a list of ALL accounts. Anything that you spend money on, invest money in, or pay toward needs to be on this list. Mortgages, car loans, student loans, investments, health insurance, car insurance, disability insurance, life insurance, credit and debit cards, checking accounts, savings accounts, etc. Include account numbers, login information, contact information for each company or broker. Some of this may take a little time and effort, but once you have all of the information in one place it will be significantly easier to track. 
  2. Put all essential documents in a safe space. Birth certificates, social security cards, marriage licenses, wills, documents for your assets (like your home or car), passports, and more should be stored in a protected box in a secure location that you can easily access. This simple organization (and I use that term loosely) can make all the difference as you open accounts, fill out forms, etc. 
  3. Have some serious conversations. While there will be some discomfort to these, they don’t have to be hard. First I recommend talking to your spouse or significant other about where you stand financially, then dream about where you want to be. What are your roadblocks right now? What could they be in a few years? What do you ultimately want to do down the road? Some of these dreams and goals may change, but the two steps in getting anywhere are knowing where you are and then knowing where you want to go. Second, talk to other women in your family or life about their experience. Having someone who has gone before you will be so helpful in helping you think through next steps. Additionally it may open your eyes to circumstances, tips and tricks you may not have considered before. Finally, have a frank and honest conversation with yourself. Why are you not where you need to be? What are some lies that you’ve bought into regarding money? Are you willing to do the work to change that?
  4. Create a list of goals. I realize that I am more prone to creating goals than a lot of people, but I’m also a firm believer that they provide incredible direction in every area of our lives. I also recommend setting multiple goals; I have retirement goals of course, as well as goals for college savings, bucket list vacations, dream home, etc. Maybe one that you have is taking a course that could help you reach another life goal…make sure you include those as well!
  5. Start somewhere. Take the time to research how to start investing in ways that will bring you to your goals, and then take action. I just want to give it to you straight: the longer you wait, the more likely you are to procrastinate and waste precious time that could be spent making a positive impact on your family’s future. You are completely capable of making a choice today that will help you down the road!
Mom to Mom: What I Wish I'd Understood About Money When My Kids Were Younger

In our marriage one of our biggest dreams has been to send our kids to college without accruing debt from student loans. I see now what a massive blessing it was that our parents had the foresight and ability to do this for us, and how much it could help our boys in the future. It feels so daunting, though, as the cost of tuition steadily increases at the same time that we have to start thinking about braces, sports and more.

One of the biggest ways we can reach this goal is by setting up an Arkansas 529 Education Savings Program. Mom to mom? Rather than saving for college through a simple savings account at our bank for the past 8 years, we could have been saving in an Arkansas 529 account with significant tax advantages, age-based options, and more. Besides the fact that I wish I had known earlier how non-scary finances are, I REALLY wish I’d started saving for college with an Arkansas 529 account when my children were newborns. 

The good news is setting up an Arkansas 529 education savings plan for my sons is something I can do TODAY for a minimal investment and minimal effort. Then the plan just goes, without me having to make a conscious effort every month, and will continue to provide peace of mind while setting us all up for a brighter future. (P.S. This is a great feature for grandparents too!) I can do it today…and so can you!

To read and learn more about the Arkansas 529 Education Savings Plan (and sign up!), I recommend spending some time on their website. 

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Just a couple quick reminders: ⭐️ healthy doe Just a couple quick reminders:

⭐️ healthy doesn’t have to be hard
⭐️ you’re allowed to “mess up”
⭐️ you’re allowed to be multidimensional
⭐️ don’t overcomplicate it 
⭐️ YOU ARE CAPABLE 

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head these days, and half the time I don’t know which way is up. But I do know this: focusing on simplicity is the name of the game this year for me. It starts with the things I can control: my food intake, moving my body, my thoughts, my actions. The rest will stem from there!

Does anyone even do a word of the year anymore after 2020? If you do I’d love to see you share it below!
“I’m angry with God.” With those 4 words my “I’m angry with God.”

With those 4 words my Daddy forever changed the way I saw God. A pillar of fire didn’t come from the sky, the ground didn’t open up and swallow him whole, we didn’t get in a car wreck on the way home from piano lessons. And my Daddy never turned his heart from God; a short 20 minutes later we sat down at the dinner table and he praised him through prayer before we ate dinner. 

He taught me that when we are sad or frustrated or anxious or angry or feel that surely the weight of life will kill us - God is big enough to handle those feelings. Not just handle them, but walk closer than our breath through them. He cares, he’s there, and he even wants us to tell him. The more I think about it the more I see that my dad sharing his anger with God was the most honest display of faith I had seen up to that point.

The other day I uttered those same words in front of my boys, “I’m angry with God.” Just like me, they looked around to see where my smiting would come from, likely shocked (as I was) when it didn’t come. And just like me, they will see their parent praise God even in the midst of a firestorm of emotion. 

Why? Because God is good no matter what. My life feels like it’s crumbling before my eyes and I have no way of stopping it...but He is still on his throne. I will praise him no matter the circumstances because he has been good to me. I will write his word on my windows as a constant reminder that this life of mine is dedicated to his glory.
For someone who loves words so much, I really don' For someone who loves words so much, I really don't have many of them right now. 
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On December 26, 2020 - after over a decade of fighting Corticobasal Degeneration, a rare progressive neurological disorder - my incredible, near-perfect Daddy left this world and has made his home with Jesus. Ever since then I've been struggling to find the words to pay homage to the most amazing man in the world. How do you sum up the life of someone who has impacted so many for good? How do I ever share how the little day-to-day expressions, smiles, words, wit, strength, grit, grace, humility, hard work and love have been woven into my very being? One of the last things I told him before he left was that there truly are no words yet for the kind of love he shared with me, my sister, and our beautiful mother. He was truly one-of-a-kind in every way, and we are so blessed because of the way he poured himself out for us. 
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Daddy, I love you so much. The only thing that's softening the pain of your absence is knowing that those very last words I said to you - "I'll see you soon" - will come true because I know you'll be waiting for me in Heaven. My very own Daddy - you are always with me. I love you beyond words.
Just two gals who crushed a 50 minute run today! Just two gals who crushed a 50 minute run today! 

As we move into goal setting for the new year, may I suggest starting with your physical health? Not to fit the bikini body mold that society normalizes, but to actually BE as healthy as possible. When everything hit the fan for me this year I dug into two things that have been integral to creating positive growth and a healthier mindset: 

1️⃣ my relationship with God
2️⃣ my physical health

What that’s looked like for me on the health front: holding fast to my commitment to whole food nutrition, grace for the days when I choose otherwise, pushing myself to lift heavier in workouts, and taking up running again. 

What’s happened as a result? When I push myself physically, when I choose to practice discipline to do what I know is best for my body, it makes it infinitely easier to choose that same healthy discipline in every other area of life. You want to dominate your goals? Start with your health!
Remember when I blogged about food? 😂 Gosh the Remember when I blogged about  food? 😂 Gosh the past few months have been nuts. I’m still over here figuring out how to eat well without sacrificing my life in the kitchen, and this is a bowl I couldn’t NOT share with y’all. The best thing is that everything is almost always on hand in my fridge, it’s packed with nutrition, and tastes AMAZING!

In the bowl:
-rice mixed with Trader Joe’s Zhoug sauce
-broiled shredded Brussels sprouts
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-baby  arugula
-grilled chicken breast
-Romesco sauce (from Trader  Joe’s but I usually make my own)
-a little  tzaziki sauce

This meal has been on repeat all week, only changing the rice for riced cauliflower and omitting the chickpeas on low carb days. YUM! I find that if I have a variety of roasted veggies, grilled chicken, and a few different sauces on hand I can almost always come up with a great bowl for almost any meal!
It’s a beautiful day for Small Business Saturday It’s a beautiful day for Small Business Saturday y’all! Almost 4 years ago I took a leap of faith and said yes to this job in an effort to create another stream of revenue. I had NO CLUE that it would change my life for the better in almost every way, that it would reignite my passion for health and community, that it would provide in so many beautiful ways. But it has, and I am so thankful to all of you who have trusted me and supported me along the way. 

When you shop with a small business you are literally a hero in their eyes, validating and supporting and protecting them. You guys are my heroes, and I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ 

#smallbusinesssaturday #happydance
Affirmations for YOU today. Even when you don’t Affirmations for YOU today. Even when you don’t feel it, these are truths that I’m holding for you. ❤️
3 things you can do RIGHT NOW to improve your day: 3 things you can do RIGHT NOW to improve your day:

1️⃣ SMILE! Even if you don’t feel like it, smiling (even forcing it to the point of feeling weird) has actually been scientifically proven to improve mood, lower stress, and boost your immune system. I actually recommend doing it awkwardly around other people because it’ll make them smile too 😉

2️⃣ GRATITUDE! Right now, before you talk yourself out of it, say or write 3 things you’re thankful for. Big, small, or in between. In this moment I’m going to say sticky notes, my Le Creuset Dutch Oven, and the Hamilton soundtrack. BOOM!

3️⃣MOVE! Get up off your tush, right now, and move your body. Walk around your house, do some jumping jacks, lock yourself in the bathroom and do a little dance, whatever. This isn’t about looking cool, it’s about giving yourself a better day. 

Things are hard, ambiguity and uncertainty isn’t fun, but we can control ONE THING: ourselves. Praying that you choose to gift yourself a little bit of happiness today! 

Now, tell me below, what’s one thing you’re thankful for RIGHT NOW?
HASHTAG MOOD. Y’all, I’m so jealous of my dog HASHTAG MOOD. Y’all, I’m so jealous of my dog 😂 Who else feels me here? 🙋🏼‍♀️ #dogdays #2020mood
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