This morning was no different than the several hundred before it.
Wes and I woke up and snuggled with Nate for a bit before he got ready and headed off to work. We ate breakfast; a strawberry-banana-peach-spinach smoothie for me, bananas and yogurt for Wes. He drank some milk, but more than anything just laughed and threw his sippy cup on the floor. He finished eating and we went to “find the dogs” (we corral them in the next room while he eats since otherwise he’ll just hand-feed them instead), folded laundry and played hide-and-seek.
A normal morning. Nothing special. Except for every single miraculous moment in it.
After we played it was time to wind down, so we grabbed a sippy cup of milk and sat on the floor in the living room, watching a live concert on TV. Instinctively I sat there with my nose buried in Weston’s hair, breathing in the scent of his shampoo and clean sheets. Feeling the heat from his little space-heater body, sitting in my lap. Laughing silently to myself as I noticed that, once again, our legs were crossed at the ankles out in front of us, unintentionally.
A moment to breathe and sit still with my little guy is fairly rare, so when it happens I can scarcely move should I disrupt that stillness. Not because I don’t want him to move, but because I so love sitting with him like this with a chance to just feel his little body next to me.
He stood up, and I started to cry. Not sobbing, but tears formed and softly fell down my cheeks. I know one day that he will move in bigger ways than just across the room to pick up a toy. He’ll move toward independence and becoming his own man with thoughts and feelings and a voice of his own. And I know this world – this world that has sucked me in at times and made me question my worth and my intentions and my true heartfelt desires. I know this world and I hope beyond hope that we can steward this little boy with the sweetest heart, the most genuine smile and the funniest sense of humor away from the things of this world and into the love and grace and mercy of Christ.
I cried this morning. I cried because I realized in a small and normal moment that a small and very special little boy won’t always be protected by his mommy. I won’t always be here to hold him close and kiss the boo-boo and drown out the bad with my love. But I also cried in joy because I know that God is here. He loves him more than I do, which I can’t fathom, but know to be true. And just as He scooped me up out of the mud and the mire of a life of sin, I know that He will do the same for my little boy.
The memory of today I hope will forever be etched in my brain and on my heart. And I pray for millions and millions and millions more like it.
Heather, you have such a beautiful gift of expressing what so many of us moms feel/ have felt
Heather, I was really touched by your story. My own daughter – Heather – was married in April. I haven’t forgotten those moments of 36 years ago when she was born. She can now experience with her future children what I felt when I held her, watched her grow, protected her as best as I could, and then let her go on her own. And now my son (my baby) is 24 and awaiting to go to boot camp in the Marine Corps. As I lay praying/crying out to God that if this wasn’t His will for my son to close the door. He said these words to my heart: I will take care of him. I love him more than you do. It is the hardest thing I will do when he walks out that door, but our great God soothed my breaking heart and I know my son will be ok.
When I read those very same words in your story, I felt a kinship with you. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement Gayle. I have 2 cousins serving in the military right now, and I can’t imagine how it feels for my aunt to see her boys make that brave choice, but it’s amazing how God always uses us and our children for His glory!
First of all, he is so adorable!
This moment is so special. Hold on to it as long as you can!
Blessings,
Stacey
(dropping in from Casey’s link up)
Thank you so much Stacey! You are so sweet 🙂
I don’t know how old you are, but I was 31 when Stephie was born. We had already made the decision that I would be a stay-at-home mom, and it was, without a doubt, the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. The precious little memories that I have of the two of us doing things together will always be with me. Do treasure every minute, as they don’t last. In a blink of an eye, they are gone, but those memories will always be with you. God designed it this way, and will get you through. God bless you and your little family and have a wonderful weekend.
Thank you so much Julie 🙂 I have to agree, staying home has been the best thing in the world for me. I love it!
I’m just starting to experience these moments and they are so fleeting. I tell myself to pay attention, because I know in the blink of an eye my little baby will be all grown up. You have such a way with words and I’m sure I’ve told you that before but I’ll say it again. Thank you for being a blessing. 🙂
You are too sweet, and such a blessing to me too! Hold on to every single moment you can 🙂
Those moments are so precious. I still have those moments with my daughter who’s 11. I still smile when she comes over out of the blue and hugs me, and sometimes those might be at times where I need to be doing something or I was rushing around, but I take the time to appreciate those hugs. Those special moments.
That’s so encouraging to hear it still happens from time to time as they get older!