Sleeping. Oh how I love it and OH how I miss it ever since having a baby! I wouldn’t trade a single sleepless night, but I will say that it just feels so sweet when my head hits the pillow. There’s nothing like it.
When I started thinking about how to apply boldness to every area of my life I started to think about rest. I know that rest is so needed and I work really hard to get that down time (also, here’s a fantastic post about rest from one of my faves), but what does it mean to be bold in that? I took it a step further – what does it mean FOR HEATHER to get out of her comfort zone when she’s the most comfortable?
So here it is: I decided to sleep in lingerie. Now before this gets all uncomfortable and awkward, let me just iterate that lingerie doesn’t by nature mean the highly publicized and overpriced lacy numbers from Victoria’s Secret. It CAN mean that, but that’s not what it means here. What it means here is that I shed the old workout shorts and oversized Colorado basketball shirt that I normally wear – the one that is faded and stained and otherwise a horror to the naked eye – and I wore something cute. Something that made me feel a little sexy and a lot beautiful.
It wasn’t for my husband, although he certainly deserves that. It wasn’t for the sake of doing this project. It was to force myself to see that even though I’m sleeping I can still live in a way that emboldens me. For a long time I’ve lived with the lie that I can’t wear something cute like that because I’m a mom – a mom with a mom body that no longer looks the way it did on my wedding night. I’m a mom with too much to do to take the time to feel beautiful. I’m a mom who has to give every drop and every ounce of energy to love and encourage others and therefore don’t have time for me.
Y’all, these are lies. Just straight up. And so to squash them I did the things they said I couldn’t do.
I looked at my body and I praised God for blessing me with something that has carried the lives of two precious babies. I called it beautiful, I called it lovely. I looked at my body and saw myself the way my husband sees me.
I took the time to do the things that make me feel beautiful. I took the 5 minutes to pick out something nice. I graced myself with a small amount of time that it really takes to truly feel feminine and beautiful.
I read a love letter from my husband, written years ago but applicable to all of time. I let myself be encouraged and swallowed up by God’s word. I allowed myself to be filled.
And that night as I slid into bed I realized that even though it may not really matter in the long run what I sleep in night after night, what matters is that there is freedom in allowing boldness into every area of my life. There is goodness that comes from stretching and pushing myself out of what’s comfortable and into those very situations that scare me. Because the reality is that this one little life that I get – I want it to be lived to the fullest.
Even when I’m sleeping.