When it comes to makeup I take a pretty hands-off approach pretty much at all times. I only ever wear mascara for most things, and don’t mess with actual skin makeup unless I’m going all out for a fancy date or a party. Most people might think that this is a pretty daring thing to do; most women, from my experience, don’t really want to be seen in public sans makeup.
I tend to take a different approach, one that would probably get me a one-way ticket to What Not to Wear (which may not be terrible now that I think about it…). See, it’s not always that I just don’t feel like putting makeup on or getting ready. I’d say that’s the case about 60% of the time; being a work-from-home mom just makes for some really busy days, so the times that Wes and I are out and about I just do my best to try and at least smell like I’ve showered.
But here’s the deal: the rest of the time that I don’t wear makeup or don’t even try to do something like wear lip color or eyeshadow it’s because I don’t want to stand out. Most days I don’t really care about makeup, but on the days that I want/need to look nice I don’t want to get too much attention. I don’t want to be the girl who didn’t know how to apply red lipstick correctly, so I just don’t even try.
While this approach is pretty wallet-friendly, I found through my first little #liveboldly experiment in wearing bold lipcolor that this is probably going to be harder than I thought. It’s easy, in the moment of making my list of bold things to try, to say that I can surely wear red lipstick and be totally fine.
So Saturday I went to the store, bought some red lipstick, brought it home and tried it on. And then immediately wiped it off. And then got scared that wearing it to my 30th birthday dinner would just be too much. Too much Heather all up in people’s faces. Too much poorly applied red lipstick. Just too much.
As we were getting ready to leave I momentarily forgot where I put the lipstick and let out a small sigh of relief. Thank goodness I could sit back and blend in again… But Nate wouldn’t let me, so we searched for the lipstick til we found it and then I put it on my lips in the car on the way to dinner. I was terrified the entire time that I would just be too much.
When we got to the restaurant I took the mandatory “see? I totally wore the lipstick” shot on my phone and something changed. I looked at that photo and thought, “WOW! I don’t look terrible!” I actually LIKED the way that I looked in that lipstick. And I felt beautiful.
I know this little challenge may seem silly. It’s just makeup after all, right? But the more I’m delving into this 31 day experiment, the more I’m seeing that there are a lot of heart issues bubbling just below the surface of that red lipstick. If I were to guess it’s probably got something to do with the fact that after getting married and having a baby I had gained some weight, and while I’ve lost some of it the mindset of being the towering big girl is still there. Like maybe I feel like I already stand out enough…why would I want to draw anymore attention to myself?
Y’all, as I dig through this I’m seeing already that God has plans to reveal himself to me through me. I hope that the boldness of his sacrifice will challenge me to become bold not just in seeing myself as beautiful, but in knowing myself as the daughter he knows me to be. The outside is only going to show what is felt on the inside, and that little bit of red lipstick was the first of what I hope will be a piece-by-piece revealing of the woman the Lord created me to be.
I’m so blessed to have you guys. Love you!