I’m sure you guys are all, “What’s up with all the color, Heather? Why is it so important for you to stand out?”
And believe me, I totally know what you’re talking about. See, when I first started thinking of ways to force myself to become more bold, the first thing I thought of was the fact that while I love fashion and find beauty in color, I am definitely NOT that girl who has an awesome and colorful wardrobe. In fact I think if you were to look in my closet right now you’d probably find that there are way too many options in black and dark wash jeans. Maybe a few bright colors from times that I got brave or found a great deal, but otherwise? It’s all black.
As a food blogger I have quite a few food blogs that I love to follow, but I’m finding more and more that I’m gravitating towards women who are in the same life stage as me (moms of babies/toddlers) and who work/blog from home. And every time I see these lovely gals I always wish that I could be like them in wearing some cute outfit or decorating with fun colors or what have you. It’s almost sad really – I’ll look in my closet hoping that maybe God dropped a perfectly sized pair of beautiful denim in there while I was sleeping and that I’ll just automatically look fabulous in them.
But I’ve found God doesn’t work that way, especially with colored denim. He kind of makes us go out to get it.
As I sit back and look at this little project with a wider lens than just clothing and makeup I’m seeing more and more that my issues are running deeper and deeper. The fear of standing out, of looking like I’m trying too hard, of trying not to be too wild or out there. That fear is crippling all creativity and keeping me from letting the Holy Spirit have its way in my life. I believe that I was created by an amazing master who is the very definition of the word CREATIVE. And yet I sit back and squelch things that I’m drawn to – things like color – because I want to stand out as someone who doesn’t stand out.
All that to say – I think that this dare to live boldly is going to be an ongoing process, and because of that I’m starting with the things that are the easiest to change. A little red lipstick here, a little change in hair color there, a colorful pair of pants. But what I’m hoping and PRAYING for is that through these decisions I can garner the courage to forge into new territory, and that the Lord will help release my heart from the fear that it lives in daily. That He will help me see exactly who he created me to be – a daughter who lives for His glory. A woman who allows him to fill her to the brim so that she doesn’t rely on what this world thinks of her, but revels in who the Lord says she is. A wife and a mother who embraces boldness in all areas of life and therefore allows her family to live boldly too.
This whole boldness thing. I had no idea it was going to go this deep on Day 2…
So the jeans. I found ’em at Target on the clearance rack. They’re salmon-esque and super comfy, and while I was really intending to do some kind of turquoise number I really love these. When I wore them to church yesterday I felt like the hardest part – picking them out – was already done, and that they were just perfect for this dare. Bright and bold. They look perfect with most of the clothes in my closet. And more importantly God gave me an opportunity with these jeans to be OK with not blending perfectly into the background.
I am so glad that I have an example in Jesus for biblical boldness. I know he didn’t care about colored denim or a punchy lip, but he embraced the incredible story of love that was his life and is ours to boldly grab hold of. I pray that I can become more like the Lord in every way, but most importantly to live with that same spirit of audacious love in confidence of the one who created it all.