Some people say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again expecting the outcome to be different when you know it won’t be.
I may be insane.
See, long before I got pregnant I was missing home. I live in a beautiful place with incredible weather (today doesn’t count) and tons of fun things to do. Colorado is a wonderful place to live, there’s no doubt, but there’s one thing it’s not: it’s not Texas. And because it’s not Texas it just doesn’t feel like home. This feeling of homesickness is only being exacerbated by the increasing amount of pregnancy hormones coursing through my body which, coupled by crazy heightened emotions, only leads to one thing: crying. Lots of it.
Lately I’ve been doing super smart things like listening to Texas country, listening to Simon & Garfunkel radio on Pandora (which reminds me of my parents & sister), looking at old maps of Texas, and reminiscing about road trips through the plains and hills of Texas. Which, you know, is super smart considering I likely won’t be going back until several months from now. More crying.
Part of me wonders if I’ll ever live there again. And then I look out the window at the beautiful mountains that surround us and think about how life ain’t so shabby here either. It’s beautiful, I DO love it, and we have incredible friends.
But it ain’t Texas.
More crying.
Loved this post! There’s just something about Texas that other states can’t replicate 🙂 Even the most beautiful parts of the country like Colorado and Utah just don’t bring the homey feel of Texas.
Perhaps this post should have been called pregnant, homesick and nostalgic. 🙂 Just sayin’ the tears might have a teeeeeeeny tiny bit to do with hormones.
naaaaaaah 😉 yes, it’s totally hormonal – the crying part anyway!
I’ve lived here in CO for 4 years and my car and drivers license are both still Texas {illegal much?} because I refuse to get those ugly green license plates!
Awww, I know exactly how you feel– especially when we were living in Pennsylvania, I had MANY a days and nights filled with homesick tears for Louisiana. Even now that we’re much, much closer, I still feel homesick pretty often– Alabama is closer, but it’s still not Louisiana. I feel ya, girl.
give me a call when/if you ever think of moving back. i’ll share my thoughts and our experiences. texas is “home,” but Colorado is such an amazing place to live and raise a family. i miss it. 🙁
love you!
I felt this way for a long time, and then I moved home, and it felt great!!! It’s hard being close to family though, I can’t lie – so much more expectation, that being said, I’m not SUPER close with my family.
Big hugs to you
I hear ya. I grew up in VA and am not living in CA (feels like its on another continent). I’m pretty good about keeping the homesickness at bay, but if I’m having any sort of bad day, the emotions just come out. I feel silly being homesick when I’m married and 28 years old, but I guess we all never fully grow up and its these emotions that keep us grounded and remind us what’s really important in life.
Hang in there – you are not alone and I agree – CO is beautiful! (Its one place, aside from VA that I could see myself settling down in).
Coming from a fellow Texan, I couldn’t agree more. I love living in San Diego, but it’s not Texas.
I know what you mean – i wish i was in Sweden these days – so many thing i remember as a kid that i just want to share with my little one, but don’t know if i will ever live there again. But my first thi is that in Sweden you get 400+ days of 100% paid maternity leave -not like this country where maternity leave is at the same level as a 3rd world country. Makes me so mad!