Hi guys! Once again, I can’t believe the weekend is just about over! If only I had a permanent weekend…wouldn’t the world be grand if that was the case? 🙂
Sunday was definitely a good day…I basically had my tail handed to me (in a good way) at church this morning, which I’ll talk about later in connection with the blog. After church we went to Baker Street Pub for lunch with friends, where I started off with a Deschuttes Black Butte porter:
And Nate and I split a House of Parliament burger, which had smoked Gouda, steak sauce, mushrooms, onion straws, and the standard lettuce/tomato/onion combo. They were nice enough to split the entire portion, including fries for us!
Stacked burgers = YUM
Just the right amount of fries 🙂
As I said before, at church this morning I was really convicted in many things, but there are a couple of things that I felt I needed to share with my readers as I continue on this journey of self-discovery in living life and blogging. And before I begin I just want to ask your forgiveness for being selfish in my writing.
For a while now I’ve been more concerned about my statistics on this blog than the writing. There have been times that I have tried to write to GAIN followers rather than being true to myself, to my beliefs, my struggles, my thoughts, and my actions. I’ve tried to be politically correct because the second you say something someone doesn’t agree with, you lose readers. And for that I am truly sorry.
I have been trying to lose weight to LOOK a certain way, to fit in with the “healthy blogger” culture, and not for improving my own health, happiness, and honoring God with my body. I want more than ever to get away from trying to write about my weight loss; in fact, I feel that by writing about it I become more and more obsessed with it. I also have not been eating and exercising in a way that is honoring to my body, and as such have become unnecessarily obsessed with the way I perform in that. I want to be cognizantly thankful for the ability to eat good food, drink good drinks, and move in a way that is enjoyable and GOOD for me rather than try to run a marathon just because every “big” blogger runs one.
And on that note, I still honestly want my blog to be a platform for my writing, but I have been trying to do things to increase the popularity of it and the numbers on my own accord. I believe that we all have a purpose in life, and I still don’t know what mine is, but I DO know that I’ve been trying to do this on my own rather than letting God speak through my writing. All I know is that if I have encouraged ONE WOMAN to be the person she was made to be in Christ, then this has all been worth it. Do I want my numbers to be greater? YES. Do I want to be propelled forward into the world of big bloggers and their fabulous blog-business trips, be able to quit my day job, get a book deal, and work from home? HECK YES. But it does not define me, and if that never happens I can rest knowing that there is something even bigger for me.
So where does this leave me now? To be completely honest, I’m not entirely sure. All I know is that I believe in the plan that God has for my life, and I’m thankful for the comfort in that. I hope that you guys will forgive me for being more concerned about a number on a website than the number of lives that are changed for the better through this. I still plan on being the normal, goofy, kind of off-kilter Heather that you guys all know and HOPEFULLY love…but I’m not going to hold things back and try to re-word my thoughts to make them more palatable or to reach a certain statistical number.
I love being here in my little corner of the internet, and I love all of you…not because you’re reading this and affirming my self-worth through being a number (because you’re not, even though I was letting you for a while). I love you for the beautiful, strong, incredibly gifted and amazing woman (or man) you are! Will you please forgive me?
Hey Heather! I’m just now catching up on my google reader and reading this post and I just have to pipe up with all the others and say that I also love your honesty!
I agree with you that it is pretty cool not to need all the answers right now because we can trust that God will work his plan with and in us 🙂
I hope you get to that stage of the real writing that you want to do because I think you are fab and positive!
I just found your blog and I love it!! Happy that you are a follower of Christ. I look forward to reading it regularly.
i understand the feeling! unfortunately i dont blog nearly as much as i’d like any more, but that’s because i got so burned out being this perfect blogger. i’d feel guilty about eating a handful of chips and not photographing and mentioning it…seriously, i turned obsessive! now, i post not often enough, but at least when i do, it’s about things i actually WANT to discuss, which makes me happy 🙂
Oh I so admire your honesty! I think it’s really easy to get caught up on what you “should” write about and what others are doing, but the best gift you have is to be yourself!! That’s why your readers love reading. 🙂 Just write from your heart and the rest will follow. <3
So, I’m really late reading this post. I totally know what you mean, especially about fitting in physically with the healthy living bloggers. It’s a struggle for me too. It’s an interesting balance being public like this on the internet. But the rewards far outweigh the costs. So thanks for sharing 🙂
I think everyone who has a blog, especially in the beginning, first thinks like you did. It’s human! and nobody’s perfect, just keep on writing and be true to yourself, you’ll see that you still have many many many readers! 🙂
No forgiveness needed. I love your blog and I love your honesty. It’s great that you are being honest with yourself now 🙂
girl, i don’t even know how to find out what my blog statistics are, so props for that!!!
i do know this – honesty is ALWAYS uplifting. thank you so much for your sweet transparency. admitting our mistakes puts us in God’s “sweet spot…” we know we are fools without him.
i think i should congratulate you instead of forgive you! you are incredible, don’t forget that.
-rebekah
just found your blog… loves it!
you’re very open and honest, i love that.
Thank you for you honesty and vulnerability. I’m relatively new to this world of health and fitness blogging. I just started subscribing and reading people’s blogs and am hoping to start blogging in the near future. I’ll admit that I’ve had some reluctance to start because of the insecurity that my writing (and lifestyle) couldn’t measure up to those of the bloggers’ I follow. I appreciate what you’ve shared, as a fellow Christian and someone who is also trying to lead a healthy life. I know in your post you mentioned the desire to “encourage one woman…” but just wanted to let you know that you’ve encouraged this man, too. Thanks for the inspiration.
I am so glad you wrote this! I am a Christian and my writing on my blog has been more PC than anything. My whole goal with losing weight has always been to make it a spiritual act of worship. I want to reach and inspire readers to be healthy, body, mind and soul. I’ve been neglecting the soul part a little bit, not just in my writing, but in my personal life as well. Thanks again for sharing this!
Sister!! I love you so much! You don’t need to write for anyone but yourself! You have such an amazing personality and heart, that regardless what you write so many people will be able to identify with what you are saying! Just be yourself b/c who YOU are is wonderful!! I love you so much!!
awwwwww. of course! (although, it’s not needed in my opinion.) self-discovery is a long and difficult journey, heather. be gentle to yourself and give yourself grace. 🙂 you are an excellent writer/blogger and i LOVE when you do things your way, unedited. keep up the awesome work on yourself!! it’s truly the path less-traveled and i am blessed to get to witness you on yours. thanks for sharing and being so transparent! love you….
Glad you are finding what truly matters to you, that should be the most important, the rest will come in time.
This post is beautiful. Good luck in your journey, and no matter what, stay true to yourself!
Hi There! I am soooo new to the blogworld but I stubbled on yours and I love it! Give yourself a break 🙂 Your only human and your pictures are fabulous! You made me want a burger!!!
THIS is why I love your blog! Your honesty is compelling and endearing. I honestly believe that when you let go of the reins, forget about the numbers, and just be true to yourself and to God’s purpose for you, your numbers will soar without any additional effort – merely because people are so touched by what you have to say. Don’t hold back! 🙂
Heather, you are a wonderful person and you show your great strength in God just by admitting your own feelings and insecurities. Don’t feel alone in the fact that you feel like you have to live up to a certain standard in the blog community. I find myself many times posting things that have no Christian reference in it and then after I post it I stop and think, wait, am I trying to hide who I really am? That’s when I have to ask myself, is my ultimate goal to promote myself in my blog or Christ? And it certainly is Christ. We’re only humans and our own desires can get in the way, but just know that I always enjoy reading what you have to say and feel uplifted by the comments that you leave me. 🙂
I don’t think you need to apologize for being human. If anything, you should feel proud that you were able to see the change you want to make and start making it.
When I started my blog, I specifically told myself I would NOT get caught up in stats and “fame.” I don’t ever want to feel like I HAVE to blog. Some weeks I post a lot; others, not so much. But when I do post, it’s not some random thing that I’m doing just because I have to get a certain number of posts in per week. To me, that is a sign of quality over quantity. Cut yourself some slack and post about what you want, when you want 🙂
I can totally relate to this post. I have not been blogging for very long but there was about a month there where all I cared about was how many people visited my site! It wasn’t fun anymore! So I decided to give up and put faith in the fact that whatever happens happens. God has a plan 🙂 Goodluck to you! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
If anything your honesty just gained a follower: me.
I used to be an athlete, but I’m not anymore. I don’t want to run marathons, it is not my thing. I like walking, hiking, running (sometimes), and kicking around a soccer ball…but I’m not hardcore. And, I don’t want to pretend to be for my readers. I think it’s great how many bloggers are devoted to exercise; it inspires me. BUT, I’m not going to be them, because I’m not them. I’d rather read a book and watch Lifetime movies.
Thanks for the honesty.
This describes EXACTLY what I’ve been struggling with and explains a lot of my radio silence in the past few months (other than being really busy). I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and hope to have a lot to write about once I move and can really devote time to it.
Thank you for being so open.
You are beautiful inside and out. I admire your honesty in your blog. never lose sight of who you are. I love reading your posts.
I’ve continued to enjoy your blog and haven’t noticed a lack of writing. 🙂 But I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in the “numbers.” Sometimes that’s the ONLY feedback we get!
This was a great post and it must have felt good to write! Keep doing your thing and everything will fall into place! 🙂
What a really great post, Heather. I was actually thinking about this myself over the weekend (which you may find odd since I do have that illustrious book deal that you speak of), but I also need to give myself more freedom and slack when it comes to the blog. And more importantly, I need to have confidence in myself and know that every post doesn’t have to be “perfect” and that I do have worthwhile and entertaining things to say, even if they don’t fit “the mold.”
I think you consistently have really fun, great posts and you just need to keeping doing YOU! The rest will just fall into place.
I am probably repeating what everyone else has said… but you are not alone.. ALL of us bloggers want more readers.. and want the stats on our blog to increase and go on that fabolous trip with other bloggers… so my dear Heather no apology needed. At least you are honest about it 🙂
I have actually been thinking about my blog this past week. I really enjoy have my own blog but the truth of the matter is.. I have a 7-5 job that requires a lot of attnetion and concentration. I can’t read 100 blogs a day to increase the readership of my blog. I also need nights to just be not cook something take a picture of it and post it.. that’s not for me. I don’t know how I am going to get that balance but its on my mind and I am hoping to figure it out soon 🙂
I think we all fall into that trap at the beginning on blogging. Part of writing is finding who you are and what you love – I am so glad you have!
I think you need to write what you want and need to write about. Go with your passions and be yourself, and readers will follow. I can understand how spending more time focused on weight loss can make you think about it even more; if that’s the case, write about what makes you feel the healthiest.
Heather!! This post was so honest, and heartfelt. I have struggled recently with my blog. It’s hard to try and make your own path when you want to be successful like the “big” bloggers. When I started my blog, I let how all the other health bloggers lived influence what I was doing. You have to stay true to you. Even if you never have numbers are great as the “pro” bloggers, there are plenty of people that read your blog and are thankful every day that they have the chance to read it. I know I am, even though I am terrible at commenting.
Please don’t feel bad that you got caught up in this crazy blog world. It happens to us all. You are amazing the way you are!! Keep writing and they will come. I have faith!
being true to yourself and letting your personality shine through is the best thing you can do on your blog. in my opinion it makes you more relatable & all the more lovable. your posts are always fun to read, especially when they’re so refreshingly honest as this one was.
Wow, Heather what an amazingly honest post. Thank you for writing this (and in a selfish note, it definitely has made me think about my own writing and as I try to grow my own bloggy).
Ah, posts like these remind me of why I love blogging so much – I love the bloggERS!
You’re such an honest person, I wouldn’t worry about anything. I love to read you because you’re one of the few people I find I feel like I’m sitting down with for a chat. It’s brilliant!
We all get wrapped around stats at some point or another. i think its hard to exist in the blogging community and not get sucked into it. Its hard to find balance and find happiness in your little corner of the world! I hope you find your happiness & balance in the world of blogging! I enjoy your blog a lot so keep it up!
This was one of the most honest & refreshing posts I’ve read in awhile. Kudos to you 😉 I think the key is to find a balance of staying true to yourself & writing for yourself and your blog- which will probably result in numbers going up 😉
Just happened on you blog a few days ago, and loved it. Love it even more now!
meant “your blog” 🙂
You don’t need my forgiveness girl. I think you are incredible and your little space of the internet will only get better the more true you are to YOU! xoxo!
Heather, one of my favorite things about your blog is how honest you are about your feelings. I think there is far more authenticity to your writing than there is to a number of the “big bloggers” out there. You are so heartfelt and genuine, and I think it really shows through in your blog. I think it’s very easy to get caught up in the “numbers game” of blogging. I catch myself comparing my site hits from one day to the next. Regardless, the heart of your blog is not the number of readers who happen to stop by. The heart is you. So be true to yourself and keep on writing!…I will certainly be reading. 🙂
You’re so cute! As a fellow blogger, I know it’s easy to get caught up in looking at stats and wanting free greek yogurt to arrive via the mail (that’s not just me… right?? ;))
But I’ve really enjoyed the bond I’ve found with other bloggers and the new recipe ideas I’ve run across and the inspiration I’ve found, and find that to be so rewarding. The more authentic a blogger is, the better in my book. Even if that means a food blogger spends a few posts writing about a home improvement project rather than the carb/protein balance of breakfast 🙂
I love your blog and will continue reading because I enjoy your writing (and the beautiful pictures of Colorado… jealousssss)… so chin up 😉
No forgiveness, needed my friend.
Being authentically you is the only way to truly achieve peace and harmony. Your blog is your place to shine. I love your honest, heartfelt writing and to me, you are “big” and “popular” because of what is in your heart.
Heather,
I think all of us who enter social media platforms have similar thoughts, and I admire and thank you for being open and forthcoming about it! You know you’re fabulous and your writing is beautiful. I don’t really have much else to say exce,t round of applause to you girlie.
Oh Heather 🙂 No forgiveness from your readers, in my opinion.
Honestly, to me it sounds like you’re having a hard time forgiving yourself. That is usually one of the hardest things, isn’t it?
You’ve not offended me in the least, so there’s no forgiveness needed 🙂
Just get back on track, girlfriend, and write what you know and love.
As far as obsessing over the fitness thing, because you write so much about it, I can so relate!
Once i decide, “oh i’ll start this new program and have ripped abs by *whatever date*”, i totally stress and bomb!
Now I’ve learned to go with the flow and it’s all good.
Just be who God created you to be and let Christ shine in all you do!!