Happy Hump Day everyone! I hope y’alls mornings are going fabulously 🙂
Last night’s dinner was at Fazoli’s again since we were in a huge hurry and it was right across the street from the church the concert was at! I had the baked spaghetti:
It was OK, but covered in WAY too much cheese! If I’d known that I would have just ordered the regular spaghetti. I still ate it all though. That and a couple of breadsticks! Woohoo for carbo-loading! We got to the concert and sat in the second to last row, which was fine with me since I needed lots of room to stretch my leg out. The first act was Matt Maher (loved him), then Phil Wickham (the reason we went), and then Leeland (which was OK – I’d never heard of them before and only really loved one song). Y’all, this concert was life-changing. More details at the end…
When we got home last night I got ready for bed immediately and fell asleep to the sweet sound of Nate playing the guitar and singing 🙂 He’s a lot better at it than he thinks and it’s pretty sexy to listen to my man praise God. Just sayin’ is all!
This morning I got up and did some upper body weights (taking a break on the lower body til I find out what the problem with my knee is tomorrow), some crunches, and then showered and got ready for the day. I also did Take 2 of the Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Green Monster:
And we have a winner! This had great flavor and texture, much better than the first try. Recipe is:
- 1 cup milk (I used nonfat cow’s milk, but you could do any kind you prefer)
- 1 cup frozen strawberries (around 7 or 8 depending on the size). If they’re large, try to chop them a bit if you can to make blending easier.
- 2 Tbsp cocoa powder
- 1 packet Truvia
- 1 medium banana
- 2 big handfuls spinach
Blend til smooth and drink away!
So yes, the changes. I feel like I finally got this pummeled over my head last night: I do not want my life to be about me. I’ve been so blindly stuck on defining myself as a person who is struggling to overcome disordered eating and trying to lose weight that I’ve lost sight of the fact that that freedom has already been given to me; I’ve just been too blind to take it. Not that I won’t still think about it, but last night was the first time I truly felt freedom from this struggle. I am so much more than someone who has eating issues, and it’s time that I not only understand that, but LIVE it! Therefore I’ll be changing my “About Me” section to reflect the fact that although in the PAST I struggled with it, my present and my future are not determined by that anymore. I am a strong, smart, beautiful woman who deserves to enjoy my food, my body and my life. I’m going to work on eating things because I love the way they taste and the way they nourish my body, and I am going to be THANKFUL for that. I don’t expect this to be easy, but I know it’s going to be worth it! I would love any accountability you guys could give me too 🙂
When was the last time you had an “AHA!” moment, an epiphany, or a shift in paradigm? What was it? Have you followed through with it, or is it still a struggle? Obviously mine was last night, but I can’t even describe how free I feel today. I’m happy with myself and woman that I was created to be for the first time in a long time!
I’ve been fighting this lately too. Unfortunately, I am still stuck in the midst of ill body and confused mind 🙂
so i keep feeling unable to break free of it all…but this is inspiring..i don’t need to wait—start now…be tough now, be positive now…i like your blog a lot btw.
I am so excited for you! It is so amazing when God speaks to us and gives us this revelation moment when we realize that we have such a wonderful and worthy life because we have already been redeemed by him! I relate to you so much because I had one of those “aha” moments not too long ago. 😀
You’re amazing 🙂 I love you sister!
I am so glad to hear that you are feeling more free and lighter, because you have chosen to look at life and yourself differently. What an incredible “aha” moment to have. Spring is a time of change, I hope this is the best one yet for you!!!
Super weirded-out at how similar our lives seem sometimes… I am having knee trouble also. It’s preventing me from running and also forcing me to confront some of the issues behind *why* exactly having to stop running is so hard for me. I’ve also been weighing a lot of life decisions that have gotten really heavy to handle! My husband and I came to a similar conclusion as you did — we don’t want our life to be about us! It’s not about us… it’s about how we can best be used for God’s kingdom. The work is already going on… we just need to be faithful in our part of it. Trying to get everything right at once (working out, eating right, being a successful professional, good wife…) isn’t what it’s about at all.
Good luck with the doc — hope he/she can give you some good advice!
baked speghetti covered in cheese?!?1 YUMMM that looks so good!!
wow what an amazing inspiring post…you are beautiful and confident and amazing and I think you wrote beautifully. Treating your body with respect is something that so many people neglect. I am so happy that you had your AHA moment 🙂
Great post and rock on sister!!! My most recent “aha moment” wasn’t exactly a good one…I am realizing that I am kind of selfish. I am working on it…
Awesome insight, Heather!
I’ve definitely had an “aha” moment where I realized that part of my issues with eating stemmed from the fact that I was constantly focused on ME and what was going on in my head, with my body, etc. One of the best tips I ever got was this: whenever I felt the urge to eat emotionally, take 10 minutes and do something nice for someone else. (I wrote emails to old friends, sent cards to people, stuff like that.)
I also had an “aha” moment at church this week. I’m so focused on how I “mess up” with food/weight issues, but all of those “mess-ups” have already been dealt with: by Jesus on the cross. I DO NOT HAVE TO JUDGE MYSELF, because Jesus has already wiped that slate clean. While I still need to continually ask for forgiveness, I do not need to dwell on my mistakes or the negatives in my life; they have already been handled in the ultimate way.
I’m so happy for you Heather!!!
Part of healing is LOVING your body exactly how it is… and that’s exactly what you’re doing!
You are an inspiration to so many!
Also, I love Fazzoli’s! There are none where I live 🙁 I get my fix when I go to Ohio with the bf.
Great post, girlie. I’m happy to hear that you’re finally at a place where you love yourself and are happy with who you are. It makes such a difference in how you see the world and allows you to be best you. My “aha” had to do with religion actually. I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and one day I just realized that I had a choice in how I wanted to believe in God. I was so unhappy, and I finally decided to walk away. It was the most freeing thing I have ever done. And I have no regrets!
Great post!! So excited to see the changes in your life and beyond!
Too much cheese?!? Wha???
Heather,
I am so happy for you!! I true have struggled with self-image issues. I am never happy with the weight I am, I always think “if I could just lose 5 more lbs than I’d be happy.” But I’m trying to get better about focusing on more important things. We are both so lucky to have doting husbands who will love us no matter what size we are 🙂
Now on to the “aha” moment. On monday, I was getting ready to go to work at 5am and scott came into the bathroom looking really upset, saying he couldn’t sleep, he was stressed about money, moving and his clinical boards this weekend. Whenever he gets stressed, since he usually so calm, I get stressed. So I started saying how I can’t wait until he is done, I am so tired of not having money to live. After I left to go to work, I realized how that must have made him feel, like I didn’t appreciate all the hard work he has done at school, at the same time as being an amazing father and husband. So I called him shortly after I left and told him I failed to put things into perspective. Money isn’t what matters, we have 2 beautiful, healthy children and a wonderful marriage where we can talk about when we feel stressed. I told him we would get by these next 2 years no matter what we have to do, even if we collect more credit card debt along the way :), there is end in sight. As long as we remember what is important in life, we can get through the tough times together. I can’t promise that each and everyday I will be this positive, but I can only hope those times will be short-lived and I will remember this important lesson in life. I am so appreciative of all God has given me, I couldn’t ask for a better husband or children, they truly bring the joy to my life.
Miss you and Nate and can’t wait to see you guys again!!
YEA!! Thanks for sharing. God’s transforming you in front of our eyes. Good stuff. Let’s see… a recent epiphany. How ’bout this? “All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful…” (Ps. 25:10) ALL the ways… not just the ones I find comfortable, enjoyable, pleasant, or easy. Tough love is still love. And His faithfulness is not dependent on mine (2 Tim 2:13). That’s huge since mine is flaky!
Amen Tiff! Tough love is tough, but it’s still love!
Tiffany–what a wonderful statement–“God’s transforming you in front of our eyes.” Don’t know if you know Heather personally, but I do–she is such an awesome person–both inside and out–I’m so happy to see this moment for her–and that she’s sharing it with so many!
Good for you, lady friend! You are doing so well!! You deserve happiness in every way possible and I will be here to support you every step of the way!
I am so happy for you and what a great spot you are in with your life and body right now.
I so know what you mean.that’s why I’m in my field,despite my complaints about poverty, I know I’m helping people and giving people access to important medical benefits. Thanks for the chance to think back and appreciate what I do despite all the headaches it includes!
A-ha moments are so beautiful aren’t they? When I was in college I was pre-med and freaking out about it. The thought of being in school for YEARS and all that debt… One day I woke up and thought “I don’t have to go to med school” and it seriously was like a elephant was lifted off my back. Yay you!
Thanks for sharing!
Gotta love that “AHA” moment! Anxious to hear about your knee–keep us posted! Have a great “changed” day!
I am so happy for you! What a great feeling!
Every time I have an AHA moment something always happens to it =(
“I do not want my life to be about me.” That was a stand out sentence. Really thinking about that one now; what do I want my life to be about? Hmm… thanks for the food for thought!
For “Aha!” moment: In the past, I’ve had a mindset of having to make perfect decisions and if I made one wrong decision, my whole life will be ruined. It sounds dramatic, but I was so stressed about the “right” post-college decision I ended up having panic attacks & going to a therapist. After I started grad school, all I did was look forward and think about when life would “really” start: when I got a job, when I got married or had kids, when I paid off loans, etc etc. I’ve definitely also had times where I felt like life would start once I “lost 10 lbs” or “stopped counting calories”. Finally, these past few months it’s started to occur to me that life is NOW. I think realizing I made a “wrong turn” in terms of grad school but making the effort to stop at a master’s instead of making myself be unhappy for get a PhD for “someday.” I wanted to be happy NOW! Why not!? It really started to change my whole outlook. If I get a job I don’t love, I can change jobs. If I move somewhere and it’s terrible, I can move. Living on a tiny budget to pay off my loans as fast as possible for some future budget isn’t letting me enjoy life throughout. Letting life begin “after I lose x amount of weight” doesn’t let me enjoy that once-in-a-lifetime cupcake today. On and on. Moderation is key and life is now, these two thoughts really help me stay focused on the present and stay calm. Whew! Long answer!
SO great, girl!! 🙂 I am so happy for you!
Thanks for putting a smile on my face 🙂 Your positive attitude and message rocks!
Love this! Congratulations, and have a fabulous happy day!