Hey guys! Sad story: this afternoon when I was taking pictures of my lunch and puppies, I forgot to put the memory card in. This means no pictures from that! DOH!!! But basically all I had was pasta from last night (about half of the leftovers, which was about 1.5 cups) and a ton of water. YUM!
I thought I’d take the time to share a little with you guys about where I’m at today. This is really hard for me to share because I don’t like to showcase my imperfections, but below are my backwards “before” and “after” pictures, meaning before and after my weight gain:
In this one I’m at a comfortable weight for my height and body structure (~150-155 lbs)
In this one, I’m at ~185-190 lbs and not at all happy about it.
I don’t feel like ME in the body that I have in the last picture. This was before I started really watching what I eat and making it a priority to do something active daily. I don’t believe in weighing myself, so at this point in time I don’t know how much I weigh, nor do I want to know. However, I do know that I STILL don’t feel like myself. I see wonderful women like Shannon and Angela who love fashion as well as food and fitness, and the things they wear look amazing on them. I’m not there yet…I don’t feel comfortable in my skin, and I don’t feel comfortable in my clothes. Sometimes when I’m down I wonder if I ever will be…? I’d love to take the time to dress nicer, but the truth is all I really want to do is hide under stretchy athletic clothes. I don’t feel like I can take a chance on wearing something not so forgiving, which is something that makes me sad.
This road is turning out to be a long one with many ups and downs, and sometimes I can’t help but wonder when or if I’ll ever feel comfortable in my body again.
For those of you who have lost weight, at what point did you realize you were comfortable in your body again? Was it based on a weight number, a pant size, or just your instinct? How did you celebrate when you got there?
I just found your blog, and I’m glad I did!
I’ve lost 100+ pounds and I remember all the ups and downs and craziness that came with the journey. I’m still not “skin and bones” but I’m a lot happier with myself than I used to be.
Yoga is something that helping me tremendously now – I’m thrilled that I tried it and love it. 😀
Don’t give up!!
Hugs,
Michele
Great topic and very hard to put in words. I have lost 25 lbs and have maintained it in the last couple months. I like where I am and am learning to love where I am if that make sense… its almost like once you start losing weight you want more, its not enough… I still dislike cloths shopping because even though I have lost weight I still have SHAPE. You will get there, unfortunately it may seem that it is a slow journey.
You’ll get there, Heather. The important thing is that you know what you need to do and you have a clear goal.
I’ve lost about 70 lbs but still have 30 to go. I’m much happier now and feel more myself than I ever have.
Just stay positive and enjoy the journey!
This is my first time commenting on your blog, but I wanted to put in my two cents. I lost over 60 pounds. Even with a 60 pound loss, I still feel “fat” when I look at myself in the mirror. I went from a size 18/20 to about a size 6/8 and I am still not completely satisfied. Being comfortable in your own skin, takes a lot of mental hard work. Media promotes “thinness” and makes the average women feel unworthy if they don’t look a certain way. You are a beautiful girl. Just think what your body can do for you. It does amazing things for us even when treat it badly.
I am still trying to lose the last 20 pounds. It isn’t much of a number anymore. I just need to tone up. I got way too fixated on the scale, so I use my number weight as a helping tool and not something that defines me.
Doubt you’ll like this advice. 🙂 I found when I became a vegetarian I was less likely to overeat. I felt satisfied when I finished a meal. I am not exactly sure why this is the case, but I know many vegetarians who agree. This doesn’t mean you have to become a vegetarian; rather, it is to suggest you choose certain days when you only eat a veg. diet. There are millions of places to find nutritious protein, and it’ll push you to explore more ways to prepare healthy vegetable-centered meals. Maybe two days a week?
A few years ago I would have rolled my eyes at anyone who suggested this – considering I was born with a turkey leg in one hand and a steak in the other. But? 3 and a half years later, I am a happy vegetarian. But, as always, to each her own. 🙂
I have been on a roller coaster of diets my entire adult life and have been all the way from 104lbs to 220 lbs. I am currently at a steady weight of about 175 to 180 but that still makes me about 40lbs overweight. I am getting to the point now where I am trying to just learn to love the body I have. To me, it isn’t worth the torture I put myself through. So, I am focusing on eating healthfully, listening to my body and exercising. I feel that with this approach, I will be the weight my body is intended to be.
Sorry…I couldn’t quite follow you. Are you currently at the 1st or 2nd picture in regards to weight?
Although you may not be at exactly the size you want to be, fueling your body with healthy foods and physical exercise will make you feel beautiful inside and out : )
– The Nutrition Nut [don’t miss my giveaway]
I am now closer to the second picture…
Ok. Well, if you’re aiming for a little weight loss – go for it! You know you’re in the right community to support you : )
If it’s any consolation, I think you look closer to the before picture now 🙂 You’re beautiful no matter what!
I go by the way clothes fit. I’m not there yet, right now, but I’m going to get there!
Well, when i gained weight my first year of college I still thought I was the 150 I was when I graduated and instead I was 180!
I didn’t decide to lose weight really, I just started eating healthy again because I had gotten my cholesterol tested and it was bad just like daddy and mommy’s so I followed the diet they follow and I ended up losing weight.
Mainly, I think overthinking weightloss makes it seem impossible. I like to think of eating well and exercising as a prevention method to try to fight off as many of our hereditary illnesses as I can. Looking at things that way makes saying “no” to foods easier for me as well as just looking and appreciating that cheat day more as well as appreciating that workout and healthy food I ate that day more as well. I have noticed that I haven’t obsessed over it, and the moment I actually looked at a picture and liked what I saw was when I didn’t look thinner than someone but I looked happier.
I know its hard, and I know there are a lot of subconscious things going on behind it but honestly looking at food and exercise as a preventative measure rather than just weight loss, then things seem to be easier.
I love you so much scissor and I think you are beautiful no matter what. I want you to be happy with the way you look, but know that everyone thinks you are stunning regardless of what weight you are at. 🙂
Amen Salah!!
I am down 50 lbs from my heighest weight and I now weigh what I was “so certain” would be a perfect weight & the weight that I would be HAPPY at. Sadly enough I still stress/obsess about food & exercise/worry about gaining/feel guilty for dumb stuff – I am working on it though.
One thing that I have learned is that feeling good and being comfortable in my own skin is in my HEAD. It is not in a number on the scale or on the tag of my jeans. As hard as it is right NOW being skinny will not always mean being happy.
The answer to my low self esteem/discomfort is not in loving the “future me” it is about loving the “now me.” It is not easy & I have a really hard time with it. I look at myself in the mirror and it is easy for me to be SUPER unhappy with everything that I see. I live in “comfy” clothes & always promise myself that when I magicly become happy with myself then I will start dressing in cute things and doing my hair and make up – how completely silly – but true. Why not do those things right now???
It has been helping to say out loud to myself “this is me right now, and I have today – I may not have tomorrow. I had better enjoy every second of RIGHT NOW.”
I hear you though girl – it is hard. You are BEAUTIFUL right now & you were beautiful before. You will never be that person that you were before, even if you do get back to that weight. You are the you that you are now : ) You rock!
Oh & I totally love your blog : )
I had lost weight in high school, gained it back in college, and have now settled back to a weight that I am very comfortable at. I am definitely a clothes girl and when I was heavier getting dressed was like playing a game. What can I find that makes me feel and look good? I think the moment I realized that I was comfortable with me was the day I pulled on a pair of jeans and a tshirt, glanced in the mirror and thought “Not too shabby!”
Brave, lovely woman you are. I am with you 100% on this. I despise getting “dressed” and often avoid having to look cute by missing out on fun things. Such a sad way to live life. My dream is to feel amazing in my own skin but the truth is, I’m not sure I ever have. We deserve that. I hope you receive helpful advice from this community. In the very least, you can know that we are standing by during the journey.
You are beautiful either way! But I know what you feel. After I had my baby I was up like 40 lbs and I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror at all. I try to not let a scale number be my guide but a comfy pair of pants. I tried them on every 10 lbs and celebrated with a run when they did finally fit. Best of luck, you will get there.
*Check out the week of giveaways on monicaonthego.com*
I know what you mean about looking at other people and thinking how great they look. But you never know how they may be FEELING.
It’s always more in your mind.
I gained about 20 lbs by the end of college and worked hard to get back into shape afterwards. I guess it was my family telling me how great I looked and how I looked more like “me” that made me realize I had even changed. It never really hit me until then!
I don’t think you can ever be 100% comfortable with yourself no matter what you weigh/look like. Sometimes you just have to love yourself for who you are right now 🙂